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Some poeple think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some poeple think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion OO1k
In our modern world, there is a tendency towards the fostering of living as teenager is the best age in their life. Several people young people think that living without duties and responsibilities is the perfect lifestyle. Other, nevertheless, argued that mature people have more felicity in their life. In this essay I will outline the reasons for having felicity in young and mature people respectively and why and I think that the true felicity is given in mature age. Firstly, there are various reasons why people have happiness in their mature age. Indeed, it is well known that adults have more responsibilities having a spouse and children; however they have numerous wonderful experiences living with a family that feed their life. For example, Queen Elizabeth and her husband have a large family and they are holding a constant nice relationship despite of the traditional problems. In addition, it is therefore vital for happy families have children in order to extend the generation, and obviously, it is appropriate for our world. In that way, people having a large family give future and felicity to the earth. Others, moreover, have said that teenage time is the best part of their live without obligations. There is no doubt whatsoever that single people, in their twenties or less, have freedom in order to travel abroad or studying long careers, even doing master. For instance, they can performer relevant jobs abroad and obtain savings. Thus, young people have several opportunities without major obligations but without a real felicity. Conclusively, looking beyond of those alternatives of lifestyle, it is believed that people have in mind different concepts about the felicity. In my own of view, I firmly regard that the felicity is founded in the mature stage of our life; it is with a family and thinking to leave to the new generation our concept of felicity.
In our modern world, there is a tendency towards the fostering of living as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is the best age in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that living without duties and responsibilities is the perfect lifestyle. Other,
nevertheless
, argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more felicity in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this essay I will outline the reasons for having felicity in young and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
respectively
and why and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the true felicity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mature
age.

Firstly
, there are various reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have happiness in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mature
age.
Indeed
, it is well known that adults have more responsibilities having a spouse and children;
however
they have numerous wonderful experiences living with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that feed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, Queen Elizabeth and her husband have a large
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they are holding a constant nice relationship
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the traditional problems.
In addition
, it is
therefore
vital for happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have children in order to extend the generation, and
obviously
, it is appropriate for our world. In that way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
give future and felicity to the earth.

Others,
moreover
, have said that teenage time is the best part of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without obligations. There is no doubt whatsoever that single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in their twenties or less, have freedom in order to travel abroad or studying long careers, even doing master.
For instance
, they
The word 'performer' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can performer
relevant jobs abroad and obtain savings.
Thus
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have several opportunities without major obligations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without a real felicity.

Conclusively
, looking beyond of those alternatives of lifestyle, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have in mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
concepts about the felicity. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
of view, I
firmly
regard that the felicity
is founded
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mature
stage of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
; it is with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and thinking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
to the new generation our concept of felicity.
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IELTS essay Some poeple think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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