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Some poeple think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 1

Some poeple think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 1 7DM5
Being happy is one of our greatest achievement in life, and there is an issue that being teenager is the best part of life while numerous say's adulthood is the most happier stage in life even if there is greater responsibility attached with them, in this easy I will point out my perception on this argument. To begin with, Teenagers nowadays have numerous of activities choices that they might do compare to the adults, for an instance, go shopping with their friends or colleague after school time, they are happy spending their time together with out thinking what time are they going home, the fact that there is no responsibility like children waiting for them to be home, in addition to that, they have plenty time to sleep, doing what they want to do like drinking until midnight and last one they can go anywhere at any time. and I think that's the reason why they are happier than adult. Become adults have filial piety when they have already children to taking care of. Mother lessen their leisure like meeting their friends to hang ou, go shopping or going to parlor shop, due to the fact that they need to take care their kids, and that is the reason why they become less happy, however, being a parents also make individual happier especially when it comes to taking care their child, playing with them and feel like they return being a kid. Adult feels so much happier everytime thier siblings eat the food she cooked although it does not taste good. Like my daughter, she eats every food I cooked even though it does not taste good. She also imitates the way I walk and talk that's make me feel so proud and happier even so it is just a small thing. To my knowledge, being a teenager is grateful the fact that it is one of the best journeys in life, being with you're friends and doing the things you like make feel you happy, on the contrary, being an adult and build your own family is much happier the fact that you have someone to look for you when you become old.
Being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
is one of our greatest achievement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and there is an issue that being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is the best part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while numerous say's adulthood is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happier
stage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
even if there is greater responsibility attached with them, in this easy I will point out my perception on this argument.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
nowadays have numerous of activities choices that they might do compare to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, for an instance, go shopping with their friends or colleague after school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
spending their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
thinking what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are they going home, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that there is no responsibility like children waiting for them to be home,
in addition
to that, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to sleep, doing what they want to do like drinking until midnight and last one they can go anywhere at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that's the reason why they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happier
than adult.

Become
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adults
have filial piety when they have already children to taking care of. Mother lessen their leisure like meeting their friends to hang
Possible spelling mistake found.
ou
, go shopping or going to parlor shop, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that they need to take care their kids, and
that is
the reason why they become less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
,
however
, being
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a parent" or simply "parents"?
a parents
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happier
especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to taking care their child, playing with them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
like they return being a kid. Adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happier
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
siblings eat the food she cooked although it does not taste
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Like my daughter, she eats every food I cooked
even though
it does not taste
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. She
also
imitates the way I walk and talk that's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
proud and
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happier
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
thing.

To my knowledge, being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is grateful the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it is one of the best journeys in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, being with
Did you mean "your"?
you're
friends and doing the things you like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
,
on the contrary
, being an adult and build your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family is much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happier
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that you have someone to look for you when you become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
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IELTS essay Some poeple think that teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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