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Some people think spending a lot on birthday celebrations and weddings is waste of money, others think that it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think spending a lot on birthday celebrations and weddings is waste of money, others think that it is important for young people and society. KpN3
In today's fast-paced life, celebrating and spending those moments with full joy is the whole tendency of today's people to express their happiness. Celebrations can usually include weddings and birthday parties. Most of the people like to celebrate any special occasion by inviting a lot of individuals. The deliberation that throwing too much money to hold parties like birthdays, marriages or any other special events is an arguable one, with strong logics provided by the supporters of both the views. On the one hand, some proclaim that the special events need to be solemnized extravagantly, as it happens only a few times in a lifespan. For occurrence, marriage is considered to happen once in a lifetime and the people want to have the remembrance of that event until their last breath. This is probabilistic only when the location is well embellished and all of the friends, neighbours and siblings are solicited. By spending nominal expenditure, it is almost impossible to achieve something special which will be memorized throughout whole life. Therefore, it is evident, why some people intent towards this point of view. On the other hand, some believe that it is not good to spend an enormous amount of money on personal celebrations as there are a lot of people across the globe under malnourishment. For example, in most of the under privileged areas in India, many people cannot even manage to have single time meal a day easily and this will apparently lead them to depression. In such case, the money spent on ceremony can be utilized for needy people definitely, a lot of life can be saved. Hence, it is clear why a few individuals confute with elevated pay out gatherings. To wind up, Considering the memories of special occasions as well as scarcity of necessary comestibles, investing much money for parties has been supported and refuted by many. Even though, memories of some special events are prominent, saving human life from being famished is more important. Hence, in my opinion, it is requisite to reduce the spending on parties and splurge that money for the needy people’s food.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, celebrating and spending those moments with full joy is the whole tendency of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to express their happiness. Celebrations can
usually
include weddings and birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to celebrate any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
occasion by inviting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
individuals. The deliberation that throwing too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
like birthdays, marriages or any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is an arguable one, with strong logics provided by the supporters of both the views.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proclaim that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
need to
be solemnized
extravagantly
, as it happens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few times in a lifespan. For occurrence, marriage
is considered
to happen once in a lifetime and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to have the remembrance of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
until their last breath. This is probabilistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when the location is well embellished and
Consider using "all the".
all of the
friends,
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and siblings
are solicited
. By spending nominal expenditure, it is almost impossible to achieve something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
which will
be memorized
throughout whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, it is evident, why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
intent towards this point of view.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to spend an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on personal celebrations as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the globe under malnourishment.
For example
, in most of the under privileged areas in India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot even manage to have single time meal a day
easily
and this will
apparently
lead them to depression. In such case, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent on ceremony can
be utilized
for needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
definitely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
be saved
.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why a few individuals confute with elevated pay out gatherings.

To wind up, Considering the memories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
occasions
as well
as scarcity of necessary comestibles, investing much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
has
been supported
and refuted by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
Even though
, memories of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are prominent, saving human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
from
being famished
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Hence
, in my opinion, it is requisite to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
and splurge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
food.

IELTS essay Some people think spending a lot on birthday celebrations and weddings is waste of money, others think that it is important for young people and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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