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Some poeple believe that money is a crucial parameter in our life. Others, However, believe money does not have a direct relation on happiness. what is your opinion?

Some poeple believe that money is a crucial parameter in our life. Others, However, believe money does not have a direct relation on happiness. what is your opinion? pKxj0
It is irrefutable that money can bring ease and comfort in each person's life. However, the adverse side of being wealthy and have a great deal of money can not be overlooked. This essay shall look into the advantages and disadvantages of having too much money. It is easy to see how money can enrich our lives and make us pleasant. The basic amenities of life such as food, clothing and shelter can be got by only money. Obviously, you can neither trade and advertise nor travel and do entertainment merely by spending money. wealth is indeed to raise the joy in our blood since we are confidentially able to get what we want and can bring smiles on the lips of one's nears and dears. On the flip side, there are a plethora of reasons why people say that having a numerous amount of wage has no direct relationship with human happiness. To begin with and example, the richer you are the more taxes you ought to pay. You will also ought to keep track of what you have. You may ought to keep accounts of all of your holdings and assets. Considering that wage can become an obsession, it can gradually alter your perceptions of lifestyle. For instance, it may change your personality regardless to who you were prior to and make you to not be trustworthy even about your friends and family. Therefore, besides personality, your gregarious and social behavior will have been altered since it exclusively destroys your generous character. In conclusion, Although being wealthy has a plethora of bright bottom to be happy and pleasant, I personally do believe that it will definitely have a number of dark sector which can almost change our personality.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and comfort in each person's life.
However
, the adverse side of being wealthy and have a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can not
be overlooked
. This essay shall look into the advantages and disadvantages of having too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can enrich our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us pleasant. The basic amenities of life such as food, clothing and shelter can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Obviously
, you can neither trade and advertise nor travel and do entertainment
merely
by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wealth
is
indeed
to raise the joy in our blood since we are
confidentially
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what we want and can bring smiles on the lips of one's nears and dears. On the flip side, there are a plethora of reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that having a numerous amount of wage has no direct relationship with human happiness. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with and example, the richer you are the more taxes you ought to pay. You will
also
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of what you have. You may ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
accounts of all of your holdings and assets. Considering that wage can become an obsession, it can
gradually
alter your perceptions of lifestyle.
For instance
, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your personality regardless to who you were prior to and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you to not be trustworthy even about your friends and family.
Therefore
,
besides
personality, your gregarious and social behavior will have
been altered
since it exclusively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
your generous character.
In conclusion
, Although being wealthy has a plethora of bright bottom to be happy and pleasant, I
personally
do believe that it will definitely have a number of dark sector which can almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our personality.
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IELTS essay Some poeple believe that money is a crucial parameter in our life. Others, However, believe money does not have a direct relation on happiness. what is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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