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Some individuals believe that the youth ought to follow the tradition in society. But some feel can be comfortable to behave it

Some individuals believe that the youth ought to follow the tradition in society. But some feel can be comfortable to behave it Lbjgn
Some individuals believe that the youth ought to follow the classical in society. But some feel can be comfortable to behave it. In my opinion, it is also vital, but some feel others. So, I will discuss in point of view. First of all, the traditions is significant for every countries, because it have had a value since many years ago. And it is contributed more and more thing for society such as life, food, activity and so on. Therefore, the youth supply it in their living, because traditional was conserved by last generation and handed many years ago. So, the young people should respect it and can protect the classical for next generation as well as children. Besides tradition have some special of country. To protect that value, they should not ignore it. For instance: for food, the youth can learn some skills to cook by their parents. For children, the young people can spend some time to organize the tradition games. Nowadays, the youth are vere busy with career, studying. Therefore, they do not have more time to think about classical. So, it is difficult to conserve it. With developing now, the young people may feel be free to do it. They can supply easily as well as skills food, activate. . . besides, for the people have a free time, they can upload the information about traditional on internet suchs as tiktok, facebook, . Because, it can help children know and study them. This activate is a positive to advantise and it can earn money by internet. In concluse, though they do not have more time to think and protect tradition, they should be free and do some thing easily to conserve it. Because it is significant by last generation which gave the young people.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
ought to follow the classical in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel can be comfortable to behave it. In my opinion, it is
also
vital,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I will discuss in point of view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
is significant for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "country"?
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "has"?
have
had a value since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago. And it
is contributed
more and more thing for society such as life, food, activity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
supply it in their living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
traditional
was conserved
by last generation and handed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should respect it and can protect the classical for
next
generation
as well
as children.
Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special of country. To protect that value, they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
it.
For instance
: for food, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to cook by their parents. For children, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to organize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
games.

Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
vere
busy with career, studying.
Therefore
, they do not have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about classical.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is difficult to conserve it. With developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may feel be free to do it. They can supply
easily
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
food, activate.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they can upload the information about traditional on internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
suchs
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
tiktok
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children know and study them.
The verb 'activate' is plural. Did you mean: "This activates"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This activate
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
advantise
and it can earn money by internet.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
concluse
, though they do not have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
, they should be free and do
Did you mean "something"?
some thing
easily
to conserve it.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it is significant by last generation which gave the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Some individuals believe that the youth ought to follow the tradition in society. But some feel can be comfortable to behave it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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