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Some peopre soy lhot porents should orgonise free firne octivities for lheir children. olhers soy children should be free fo choose whol lhey do in their free lime. Discuss bolh sides ond opine.

Some peopre soy lhot porents should orgonise free firne octivities for lheir children. olhers soy children should be free fo choose whol lhey do in their free lime. Discuss bolh sides ond opine. Wg5Bq
For the holistic development of children, leisure time activities play a very important role. Some people are of the opinion that such activities should be decided and organized by the parents, whereas others opine that children should have the freedom to decide how they want to utilize that free time. This essay intends to delve into both perspectives. l, however, side with the latter view. It is easy to see why some people opine that planning free time activities should be in the hands of parents. They say that children are not mature enough to understand the value of time, and may end up wasting their free time through unproductive extra-curricular activities. So, parents should plan the available free time for their children, as they want the best for their children. Parents know their children well, in terms of their likes and dislikes, and also their interests. They can organize activities that will help their children, s holistic development. For example, they can have them play outdoor games, learn music or dance, develop their creative skills llke drawing and painting and so on. Parents also need to ensure that the time spent on unproductive activities, like watching TV, playing video games, etc. should be minimized, and they should set a time limit for such activities. However, I firmlv believe that children should have the liberty of deciding how they want to spend their leisure time. Research has proven that the children, who perform unstructured free-time activities, are more creative, and become more successful when they grow up. lf children are always told what to do and follow a set of rules, it hinders their cognitive, emotional and creative development. Such children may not be very good at decision making, planning and setting goals. The children, who are in-charge of choosing how they spend their free time, are more likely to have better concentration levels and become more successful in their studies and later, in their professional lives. Furthermore, if children have the independence to choose the activities for their free time, it may bring to light some hidden talent of the child, which may otherwise go unnoticed if they do only what is planned for them. For example, a child may be good at dance, and maybe parents notice him practicing steps after seeing some programme on TV. They may not have planned dance classes in his/her free time on their own. But, on noticing that talent, they may then help their child exploit his/her talent. So, even if the free time planning is left on the children, the role played by the parents cannot be undermined. They should definitely supervise their children to notice some hidden ability, and also to ensure that they do not harm themselves. To sum up, I would like to reiterate that children and youngsters should be given the independence to decide their free-time activities for the complete development of their mind, body and skills, but at the same time their parents' watchful eye should be there over them.
For the holistic development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of

the opinion that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should
be decided
and organized by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, whereas others opine that

children should have the freedom to decide how they want to utilize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This essay intends to delve

into both perspectives.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
l
,
however
, side with the latter view.

It is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that planning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should be in the hands of parents.

They say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up wasting their

free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
through unproductive extra-curricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should plan the available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for

their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, as they want the best for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
well, in terms of their likes

and dislikes, and
also
their interests. They can organize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, s holistic

development.
For example
, they can have them play outdoor games, learn music or dance, develop their

creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
Possible spelling mistake found.
llke
drawing and painting and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
also
need to ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on

unproductive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, like watching TV, playing video games, etc. should
be minimized
, and they should set a

time limit for such activities.

However
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
firmlv
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have the liberty of deciding how they want to spend their leisure

time. Research has proven that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who perform unstructured free-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, are more creative,

and become more successful when they grow up.
Possible spelling mistake found.
lf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
what to do and follow a set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,

it hinders their cognitive, emotional and creative development. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, planning and setting goals. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who are in-charge of choosing how they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time,

are more likely to have better concentration levels and become more successful in their studies and later, in

their professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the independence to choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it may bring to light

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hidden talent of the child, which may
otherwise
go unnoticed if they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
what
is planned
for them.

For example
, a child may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at dance, and maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
notice him practicing steps after seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
on TV. They may not have planned dance classes in his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, on noticing

that talent, they may then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their child exploit his/her talent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
planning is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
on the

children, the role played by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot
be undermined
. They should definitely supervise their children

to notice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hidden ability, and
also
to ensure that they do not harm themselves.

To sum up, I would like to reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and youngsters should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the independence to decide

their free-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for the complete development of their mind, body and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
their

parents' watchful eye should be there over them.
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IELTS essay Some peopre soy lhot porents should orgonise free firne octivities for lheir children. olhers soy children should be free fo choose whol lhey do in their free lime. Discuss bolh sides ond opine.

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
504 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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