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Some people work for the same organization for their whole life while others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinions

Some people work for the same organization for their whole life while others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinions bOQLP
Everyone has different perspectives on work, people usually interested in their professional development. While some people achieve success in their careers after many years of hard work at a particular job, others must work hard to constantly rotate jobs in order to find a place for themselves. In my opinion, however, working for an organization will be more beneficial. In Southeast Asian countries, the number of people who prefer to work independently at a specific company is quite popular since they have the trait of always focusing on their work, being loyal to it and getting the work done. The level of success in a professional to support the family economy is high when they fully concentrate their energies on it, however, the arrangement time is several years. Working for an organisation for a long time has a number of advantages, including increased commissions for doing a perfect job, enhanced trust also support from superiors along with an upgraded position within the association. On the other hand, copious people believe that careers should be created via various forms of work and challenges. Working for the same company for a lifetime gets tedious and monotonous, we are unable to challenge ourselves on disparate occasions. For that reason, job will become easier for people also won’t crack our hidden strengths in reaction to new obstacles. As a result, some people believe that in order to progress and gain confidence, it is important to work with various different companies with diverse duties. In conclusion, everyone has a variety of options for supporting their career progress and increasing more suitable sources of revenue for their families and oneself. Therefore, whether an individual participates in several groups or working alone is determined by their own thoughts.
Everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
interested in their professional development. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve success in their careers after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
constantly
rotate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in order to find a place for themselves. In my opinion,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for an organization will be more beneficial.

In Southeast Asian countries, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
independently
at a specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is quite popular since they have the trait of always focusing on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, being loyal to it and getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
done. The level of success in a professional to support the family economy is high when they
fully
concentrate their energies on it,
however
, the arrangement time is several years.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
for an
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
for a long time has a number of advantages, including increased commissions for doing a perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, enhanced trust
also
support from superiors along with an upgraded position within the association.

On the other hand
, copious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that careers should
be created
via various forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and challenges.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
for the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for a lifetime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
tedious and monotonous, we are unable to challenge ourselves on disparate occasions. For that reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will become easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
won’t crack our hidden strengths in reaction to new obstacles.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that in order to progress and gain confidence, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with diverse duties.

In conclusion
, everyone has a variety of options for supporting their career progress and increasing more suitable sources of revenue for their families and oneself.
Therefore
, whether an individual participates in several groups or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
alone
is determined
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thoughts.
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IELTS essay Some people work for the same organization for their whole life while others think it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both views and give your own opinions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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