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Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.16

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organizations. v. 16
The debate weather it is better to keep working in one organization, as opposed to regularly switch between various companies, has become a matter of discussion for many. In my opinion, it is more beneficial to continuously seek progress and superior opportunities. In this essay, I shall analyse the both points of view and outline the supporting argument. To start with, there are numerous predominant factors which makes the view of working at the same place more beneficial. Firstly, this allows for leaving a wide room for the growth in the workplace. For example, a recent study published at Stanford University showed that the workers who kept their jobs for 5 or more years at one organization, had the highest chances of receiving a promotion then compared to those who kept switching between multiple places. In addition, it often takes some time to get accommodated in the workplace, thus it would be of great interest to invest the time working at one place rather than spending it on searching for the new jobs. On the other hand, there are some lucrative aspects of switching between the organizations. For example, many times it could offer higher salary and incentives. As it was reveled in the journal submitted at Oxford University, which stated that 70% of people who left their old job, ended up finding a new job that pays more salary than before. Furthermore, changing the workplace where one might not be as comfortable as they would like, could provide with a possible solution to this problem. In conclusion, this is a problem that raises many questions in contemporary life. From the given arguments and examples, I am inclined to say that the positive aspects of switching between the various companies surpass the negative points. In the future, it will be fruitful for the working class people to review the reasoning stated above in order to realize improvements in this direction.
The debate weather it is better to
keep
working
in one organization, as opposed to
regularly
switch between various
companies
, has become a matter of discussion for
many
. In my opinion, it is more beneficial to
continuously
seek progress and superior opportunities. In this essay, I shall
analyse
the both points of view and outline the supporting argument.

To
start
with, there are numerous predominant factors which
makes
the view of
working
at the same place more beneficial.
Firstly
, this
allows
for leaving a wide room for the growth in the workplace.
For example
, a recent study published at Stanford University
showed
that the workers who
kept
their jobs for 5 or more years at one organization, had the highest chances of receiving a promotion then compared to those who
kept
switching between multiple places.
In addition
, it
often
takes
some
time to
get
accommodated in the workplace,
thus
it would be of great interest to invest the time
working
at one place
rather
than spending it on searching for the new jobs.

On the other hand
, there are
some
lucrative aspects of switching between the organizations.
For example
,
many
times it could offer higher salary and incentives. As it
was reveled
in the journal submitted at Oxford University, which stated that 70% of
people
who
left
their
old
job, ended up finding a new job that pays more salary than
before
.
Furthermore
, changing the workplace where one might not be as comfortable as they would like, could provide with a possible solution to this problem.

In conclusion
, this is a problem that raises
many
questions in contemporary life. From the
given
arguments and examples, I
am inclined
to say that the
positive
aspects of switching between the various
companies
surpass the
negative
points. In the future, it will be fruitful for the
working
class
people
to review the reasoning stated above in order to realize improvements in this direction.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organizations. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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