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Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss. v.10

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss. v. 10
The preponderance of people prefers to work in the same career centre throughout their life, meantime, others opine that altering one’s job and its place would be a more salutary choice. I will discuss both opinions and give my own viewpoint. In this era of globalization, numerous workplaces have adequate conditions to provide the workers with a comprehensive and fully satisfying position. Furthermore, they can raise the staffs’ remuneration whenever needed or deserved. They secure a good pension after retiring, which boosts royalty and incentive for working for long time period among employees. To illustrate, my father is a head teacher for a well-known university, and he has witnessed a promotion after working deliberately hard owing to the pleasure comes from the convenient work environment. Conversely, some people would argue that in order to completely develop critical skills related to working, one should constantly endeavour to have a more promising job. Always serving at the same workplace, being around the same colleagues would enhance boredom and lack of enthusiasm toward duties. Incontestably, one must have appropriate cognitive abilities to consider job prospects when leaving the company he/she works. This is surely a risky step to make; however, valuable enough for some. To conclude, working for different organizations through career may be a profitable aspect considering the personal development and finding the profession of your dreams, whereas I believe that people should try to establish a mature way of handling difficulties while staying at the same organization, and acquire promotion and proper pension after they retire.
The preponderance of
people
prefers to work in the same career
centre
throughout their life, meantime, others opine that altering one’s job and its place would be a more salutary choice. I will discuss both opinions and give my
own
viewpoint.

In this era of globalization, numerous workplaces have adequate conditions to provide the workers with a comprehensive and
fully
satisfying position.
Furthermore
, they can raise the staffs’ remuneration whenever needed or deserved. They secure a
good
pension after retiring, which boosts royalty and incentive for
working
for long time period among employees. To illustrate, my father is a head teacher for a well-known university, and he has witnessed a promotion after
working
deliberately
hard
owing to the pleasure
comes
from the convenient work environment.

Conversely
,
some
people
would argue that in order to completely develop critical
skills
related to
working
, one should
constantly
endeavour
to have a more promising job. Always serving at the same workplace, being around the same colleagues would enhance boredom and lack of enthusiasm toward duties.
Incontestably
, one
must
have appropriate cognitive abilities to consider job prospects when leaving the
company
he/she works. This is
surely
a risky step to
make
;
however
, valuable
enough
for
some
.

To conclude
,
working
for
different
organizations through career may be a profitable aspect considering the personal development and finding the profession of your dreams, whereas I believe that
people
should try to establish a mature way of handling difficulties while staying at the same organization, and acquire promotion and proper pension after they retire.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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