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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

This topic has remained a controversial debate about whether adolescents should be taught to be more competitive or be a cooperative member of society. Thus, this essay will discuss both views and provide each opinion. On the one hand, certain individuals maintain that teenagers should be encouraged to learn a sense of competition appropriately. The major rationale is that children are motivated and encouraged to perform better next time when they either lose games or attain school assessment. Therefore, even if competition can exert a pressure on them, adolescents can discover their potential abilities and develop themselves, which helps them become a successful member of society in the future. To illustrate, students who frequently competes with each other without a fear of failure try to improve themselves, and they excel at anything classmates have done at school. Nevertheless, there are several reasons why adolescents ought to prioritize cooperation over competition for their development. Firstly, collaboration helps teenagers develop social skills. To be specific, since numerous school assignments entail team works, students ought to discuss and work with each other in order to complete the coursework, and this assists them in knowing and learning from each other. Thus, teenagers are taught how to socialize with people who have different ideas without conflicts well. Furthermore, cooperation teaches children etiquette which is a rudimentary principle in the society. As a result, we can become a successful and reliable person, which helps maintain a strong relationship with classmates. In conclusion, both competition and cooperation are vital to adolescent's growth. However, guardians should ponder the consequences in order to ensure children learn ethics in appropriate ways.
This topic has remained a controversial debate about whether adolescents should
be taught
to be more competitive or be a cooperative member of society.
Thus
, this essay will discuss both views and provide each opinion. On the one hand, certain individuals maintain that
teenagers
should
be encouraged
to learn a sense of
competition
appropriately
. The major rationale is that children
are motivated
and encouraged to perform better
next
time when they either lose games or attain school assessment.
Therefore
, even if
competition
can exert a pressure on them, adolescents can discover their potential abilities and develop themselves, which
helps
them become a successful member of society in the future. To illustrate, students who
frequently
competes with each other without a fear of failure try to
improve
themselves, and they excel at anything classmates have done at school.
Nevertheless
, there are several reasons why adolescents ought to prioritize cooperation over
competition
for their development.
Firstly
, collaboration
helps
teenagers
develop social
skills
. To be specific, since numerous school assignments entail team works, students ought to discuss and work with each other in order to complete the coursework, and this assists them in knowing and learning from each other.
Thus
,
teenagers
are taught
how to socialize with
people
who have
different
ideas
without conflicts well.
Furthermore
, cooperation teaches children etiquette which is a rudimentary principle in the society.
As a result
, we can become a successful and reliable person, which
helps
maintain a strong relationship with classmates.
In conclusion
, both
competition
and cooperation are vital to adolescent's growth.
However
, guardians should ponder the consequences in order to ensure children learn ethics
in
appropriate ways.
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IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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