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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.19

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 19
Nowadays, people prefer to switch their jobs from one organisation to another rather than working for the same company permanently. This essay will discuss why working in the same firm has the benefit of job security, but why having their career in different associations has better opportunities. In my opinion, working for different organisations is advantageous than working for the same company. The main advantage of working for the same association is employment security. There is less possibility of being dismissed as the employees gain more experience. For instance, a recent survey reveals that 90% of employees who work for the same company are safer than those who keep on changing their jobs regularly. In addition, these workers are provided with better salary and promotion levels. Therefore, people who prefer safer jobs are more likely to stay in the same organisation. In the modern world, people switching their companies have become increasingly popular. The main reason for this tendency is, better job opportunities. Employees who work for different organisations are equipped with a variety of skills that they learn from each company. Thus, they have better options in finding more desirable jobs. To illustrate, a software professional who has knowledge of the latest applications from different IT companies can find a new job without any difficulties as he possesses more skills. However, most of the people prefer working for different organisations in order to achieve their financial goals. In conclusion, this essay discussed the positive aspects of both working for the same company as well as for different organisations. In my view, being employed in various organisations has significant benefits than staying in the same firm.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to switch their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
from one
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to another
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
permanently
. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same firm has the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why having their career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
associations has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunities. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
is advantageous than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

The main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same association is employment security. There is less possibility of
being dismissed
as the employees gain more experience.
For instance
, a recent survey reveals that 90% of employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
are safer than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on changing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
regularly
.
In addition
, these workers
are provided
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
salary and promotion levels.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefer safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are more likely to stay in the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.

In the modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
switching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have become
increasingly
popular. The main reason for this tendency is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. Employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are equipped
with a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they learn from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Thus
, they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
options in finding more desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. To illustrate, a software professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has knowledge of the latest applications from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can find a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without any difficulties as he possesses more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
in order to achieve their financial goals.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. In my view,
being employed
in various
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
has significant benefits than staying in the same firm.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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