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Some people who hoye been in prison become good cilizens lofer. Some people think thot they ore lhe besf people to tolk lo school sfudenls oboul lhe donger of commitling o crime. Do you ogree or disogree?

Some people who hoye been in prison become good cilizens lofer. Some people think thot they ore lhe besf people to tolk lo school sfudenls oboul lhe donger of commitling o crime. Do you ogree or disogree? pJNly
Number of people who are released from the jails, eventually become a responsible member of society later on. Whilst some argue that they can taught school children the punishment of committing a crime, and what they will go through in their life phase. This essay agrees to the given point, and due to this toddlers will be aware what are the drawbacks of crime and if prisoners are allowed to school for giving lectures some of them will follow their foot steps for exploration purpose. Firstly, its not necessity that an individual who was in imprison will always be a danger to the society. After their, particular fine they had been gone through some of them with due respect changes their mentally, and become a normal citizen like others are. Moreover, they start their life journey from beginning, and they have the guilt for doing illegal activities. The prisoners who are release from prisons they can be a better guide for youngsters because, nowadays many teenagers are getting influenced by gangsters so be like them. For instance, these fraudsters should given a chance to explain what difficulties they face while they are inside the locker room-jail. Younger generation does not know the consequences of doing a criminal activities and how they will spoil their whole life by staying in locker room. Secondly, if these people have a visit in schools, and colleges some of the teen from the education will get influence to commit offence. This will adversely affect the mentality, and will lead to some offensive activity. If offenders are on a tour to give speech about their illegal commitments so the younger group will think that these population have been free from jail so we shall do these things for getting a experience. Additionally, young minds are not so cope up to think what are beneficial, and what are loop holes be doing such things. To conclude, teachers should be taken proper care while these arrangements are made. The group of people who came for speech should tell what problems they will face in future with society that no one will accept a criminal and will always be boycott for their behaviour.
Number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are released
from the jails,
eventually
become a responsible member of society later on. Whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "teach"
taught
school children the punishment of committing a crime, and what they will go through in their life phase. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
point, and due to
Did you mean "these"?
this
toddlers will be aware what are the drawbacks of crime and if prisoners are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to school for giving lectures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them will follow their foot steps for exploration purpose.
Firstly
, its not necessity that an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was in imprison will always be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to the society. After their, particular fine they had
been gone
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them with due respect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
their mentally, and become a normal citizen like others are.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their life journey from beginning, and they have the guilt for doing illegal activities. The prisoners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are release from prisons they can be a better guide for youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are getting influenced by gangsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
be like them.
For instance
, these fraudsters should
Did you mean "have given" or "give"?
given
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what difficulties they face while they are inside the locker room-jail. Younger generation does not know the consequences of doing a criminal activities and how they will spoil their whole life by staying in locker room.
Secondly
, if these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a visit in schools, and colleges
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
teen from the education will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influence to commit
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
. This will
adversely
affect the mentality, and will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offensive activity. If offenders are on a tour to give speech about their illegal commitments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the younger group will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Did you mean "this population" or "these populations"?
these population
have been free from jail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we shall do these things for getting
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
experience.
Additionally
, young minds are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
cope up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
what are beneficial, and what are loop holes be doing such things.
To conclude
, teachers should
be taken
proper care while these arrangements
are made
. The group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came for speech should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
what problems they will face in future with society that no one will accept a criminal and will always be
Consider using a past participle here: "boycotted".
boycott
for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
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IELTS essay Some people who hoye been in prison become good cilizens lofer. Some people think thot they ore lhe besf people to tolk lo school sfudenls oboul lhe donger of commitling o crime. Do you ogree or disogree?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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