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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience o627X
With the popularity of online shopping, picking up things is not the main reason when people go to the shopping mall. As a prediction, citizens will arrive at the mall for entertainment purposes instead of getting something new. In this essay, I will analyze this opinion. I totally have the same thought. In this period, people prefer online shopping to going to the mall. There are many advantages to going grocery shopping online. Nowadays, smartphone is an essential equipment to our life, we can do almost anything we want including shopping. With its convenience, we can just stay at home to get anything we need, even a car or an apartment. For instance, I am not necessarily visiting the store to own my pants, but I can sit on my bench and select the size, color, and shape of it and click for the payment. So, people don’t need go to the mall anymore. So, the trend is arriving at malls for entertainment. When we go shopping directly, we always bring some friends with us. It is an occasion to relax with our besties or relatives. The mall is an ideal place to enjoy this moment with numerous restaurants, spas, or arcades. We can spend all day here relieving the stress. In addition, big shopping malls have plans for entertainment in certain seasons and the facilities for these activities are worth trying. I have attended the Vincom Royal City Mega Mall - at Christmas time and it has been a memorable experience with splendid decoration and a variety of events to join. Another reason is shops and entertainment are under one roof, so we have fun while finding a new item. To conclude, I strongly believe that the mall now is not only the place for shopping but also a choice for people to entertain.
With the popularity of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, picking up things is not the main reason when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
. As a prediction, citizens will arrive at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
for entertainment purposes
instead
of getting something new. In this essay, I will analyze this opinion.

I
totally
have the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. In this period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
to going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to going grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
online. Nowadays, smartphone is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "essential equipment".
an essential equipment
to our life, we can do almost anything we want including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. With its convenience, we can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stay at home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anything we need, even a car or an apartment.
For instance
, I am not
necessarily
visiting the store to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
my pants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I can sit on my bench and select the size, color, and shape of it and click for the payment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t need
Did you mean "to go"?
go
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
anymore.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the trend is arriving at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
for entertainment. When we go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
directly
, we always bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends with us. It is an occasion to relax with our besties or relatives. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
is an ideal place to enjoy this moment with numerous restaurants, spas, or arcades. We can spend all day here relieving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have plans for entertainment in certain seasons and the facilities for these activities are worth trying. I have attended the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vincom
Royal City Mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mall
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
at Christmas time and it has been a memorable experience with splendid decoration and a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
. Another reason is shops and entertainment are under one roof,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we have fun while finding a new item.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to entertain.
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IELTS essay In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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