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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that we should hate crimes, not the criminals as they are also the human being. Evidence shows that good individuals are forced to commit a crime and are convicted and many ex-prisoners become normal members of our society. Since they have suffered from the isolation and punishment, they can share their experience with teenagers and encourage them to abide by the laws and rules. To begin with, rehabilitated offenders have experience about the prison life and the types of wrongdoing people get involved in. They can share those experience with the teenagers and young people are more likely to accept advice from someone who speaks from real life experience. This can be a great arrangement to let the adolescents know how someone gets involved in a crime and how they suffer for this. It would discourage them from committing crimes and become good citizens. I presume those teenagers will have many questions and the ex-prisoners are the best persons to answer those and this will have a powerful impact on the fresh minds. Moreover, people who have been punished by the law would benefit from this arrangement as well. They would feel better by sharing their stories and this is a great way to stay away from crimes for these people. They would also feel connected to the society and would be glad for doing something good. Alternative ways of educating young people about the menaces of committing a crime are letting teachers educate students. However, in my opinion, this is not that efficient as students would treat those as class lectures, not real life interesting stories to listen to carefully. Educating students through stories and films can also be effective but they are not as much interactive as sessions with ex-prisoners. To conclude, we should educate our young generation about the consequences of committing crimes and I believe they would learn this better from reformed prisoners who speaks from their experience.
It is true that we should hate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, not the criminals as they are
also
the human being. Evidence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
individuals
are forced
to commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
are convicted
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ex-prisoners become normal members of our society. Since they have suffered from the isolation and punishment, they can share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and encourage them to abide by the laws and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, rehabilitated offenders have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
about the prison life and the types of wrongdoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in. They can share those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to accept advice from someone who speaks from real life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. This can be a great arrangement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the adolescents know how someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
involved in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and how they suffer for this. It would discourage them from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens. I presume those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions and the ex-prisoners are the best persons to answer those and this will have a powerful impact on the fresh minds.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
been punished
by the law would benefit from this arrangement
as well
. They would feel better by sharing their stories and this is a great way to stay away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They would
also
feel connected to the society and would be glad for doing something
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. Alternative ways of educating young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the menaces of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are letting teachers educate students.
However
, in my opinion, this is not that efficient as students would treat those as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
lectures, not real life interesting stories to listen
Did you mean “too”?
to
carefully
. Educating students through stories and films can
also
be effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not as much interactive as sessions with ex-prisoners.

To conclude
, we should educate our young generation about the consequences of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and I believe they would learn this better from reformed prisoners who
Did you mean “speak”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘prisoners’ should be used.
speaks
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
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IELTS essay Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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