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some people want their country to host international sports events. While others, however, believe that it brings more problems than benefits. Discuss and give your opinion.

some people want their country to host international sports events. While others, however, believe that it brings more problems than benefits. Discuss and give your opinion. 2bPNA
The role of sports to make life healthy, wealthy and exotic is exceptional. Presently, some proportions of people aspire their native country to host international sports events to get social and economical benefts. By contrast, others claim that it brings more cons than pros. Here, I would like to account for both sides with my opinion. There are multifarious advantages of games at international level. First and foremost, the organization of sports competitions boosts economy of a country. For example, thousands of tourists, who bring hard currency with them, visit to host nation to see. . .
The role of sports to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life healthy, wealthy and exotic is exceptional.
Presently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aspire their native country to host international sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
social and economical
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefts
. By contrast, others claim that it brings more cons than pros. Here, I would like to account for both sides with my opinion.

There are multifarious advantages of games at international level.
First
and foremost, the organization of sports competitions boosts economy of a country.
For example
, thousands of tourists, who bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
currency with them, visit to host nation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay some people want their country to host international sports events. While others, however, believe that it brings more problems than benefits. Discuss and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
97 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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