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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be complusery in high school. To which extend do you agree or disgree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be complusery in high school. To which extend do you agree or disgree? m15aN
No one can cast a shadow of doubt the fact that education plays a very important role in the live of people. some people have voiced that highschools have to enforce their students to doing social services without receiving any payment as an extra-curriculum activities. I do believe this decision will be beneficial and have a lot of advantages that could outweigh the backdraws, if any. children have appreciably impressionable minds and school programs should be redesigned in such way that they will ensure the overall development of students for their future life. Working for community services can offer children invalubale experiences which traditional education system is not able to do so. To illustrate that in japanese schools, students have to teach some courses to their peers who show poor performances in them. it is no surprise then the best instructors and teachers belong to Japan's schools where they have practised teaching skills from the earlier ages. Moreover, these kind of programs could provide the opportunities that make children become a much more socially aware and responsible preson. To reach this aim, schools should instill the necessity of serving the society from a very younger ages. For example, japanese students have been made to clean up a park every friday in order to inculcate in them respect for person that doing job. that also has a greater purpose that littering is an unpalatable habit. In conclusion, mandatory community services in schools have a lot of advantages not only for society but for the future life of children. In the future, governments should condiser it in their education curriculum. In addition, japanese education system can be defined as a successful role model for applying this policy.
No one can cast a shadow of doubt the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have voiced that
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
enforce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to doing social services without receiving any payment as an extra-curriculum activities. I do believe this decision will be beneficial and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages that could outweigh the
Possible spelling mistake found.
backdraws
, if any.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
have
appreciably
impressionable minds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
programs should
be redesigned
in such way that they will ensure the
overall
development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their future life. Working for community services can offer children
Possible spelling mistake found.
invalubale
experiences which traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is not able to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. To illustrate that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses to their peers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
poor performances in them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is no surprise then the best instructors and teachers belong to Japan's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
where they have
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from the earlier ages.

Moreover
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of programs could provide the opportunities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
children become a much more
socially
aware and responsible
Possible spelling mistake found.
preson
. To reach this aim,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should instill the necessity of serving the society from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
younger ages.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
been made
to clean up a park every
Possible spelling mistake found.
friday
in order to inculcate in them respect for person that doing job.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
also
has a greater purpose that littering is an unpalatable habit.

In conclusion
, mandatory community services in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the future life of children. In the future,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
condiser
it in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
curriculum.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition,
Possible spelling mistake found.
japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system can
be defined
as a successful role model for applying this policy.

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be complusery in high school. To which extend do you agree or disgree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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