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Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and new event. Do you think advantages of this technology outweighs the disadvantages?

Advancement in technology has made life easy. People are able to communicate with each other on social media. While there are a lots of benefits of this trend there are considerable amount of drawbacks which will be addressed accordingly in the following paragraphs. To begin with there are several advantages of social media. First of all, it has made in such a way that people keep in contact with other relation. . For instance people of the same family creates whatsapp g roups which enable them to chat and exchange ideas among themselves. Secondly this platform has also fascilitat communication among Buisness people there by saving time to do other things. Furthermore applications such as facebook has become one of the most fertile zone where news is spread easily all over the world. Moreover this media has make teaching easy where learners can carryout life lessons with their teachers on Skype as if it is in the classroom. Even though this media has several benefits, it also has it own demerits. The spreading of wrong information on social media always let to social and personal problems with individuals. Besides this platform has so many people to be isolated from each other since communication is done on whatsapp, facebook, Skype, histogram and do on. In conclusion, though social media has made communication easy as compared at first where letters were written, I think it advantages outweighs the demerits of this platform. Nevertheless, it should be use wisely and correctly for the purpose on which it is made.
Advancement in technology has made life easy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are able to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
there are
The plural noun “lots” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a lot” or “lots”?
a lots
of benefits of this trend there are considerable
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “amounts”?
amount
of drawbacks which will
be addressed
accordingly
in the following paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with there are several advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, it has made in such a way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
relation.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
For instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the same family creates
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
Possible spelling mistake found.
g roups
which enable them to chat and exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
among themselves.
Secondly
this platform has
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
fascilitat
communication among
Possible spelling mistake found.
Buisness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there by saving time to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
applications such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
has become one of the most fertile zone where news
is spread
easily
all over the world.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
teaching easy where learners can carryout life lessons with their teachers on Skype as if it is in the classroom.
Even though
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has several benefits, it
also
has it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
demerits. The spreading of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and personal problems with individuals.
Besides
this platform has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
be isolated
from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
since communication
is done
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
, Skype, histogram and do on.
In conclusion
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has made communication easy as compared at
first
where letters
were written
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it advantages outweighs the demerits of this platform.
Nevertheless
, it should be
Did you mean “used”?
use
wisely
and
correctly
for the purpose on which it
is made
.
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IELTS essay Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and new event. Do you think advantages of this technology outweighs the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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