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Criminality is growing among children and teenagers. Why is it growing and how should these criminals be treated?

crime is rising in juvenile and adolescents. Because of mobiles. Government and non profit organisation only can solve this problem. To begin with, These days mobiles is ubiquitous every juvenile and adolescents are using the mobiles and parents don't know what they are doing and seeing in their mobiles. Moreover, juvenile and adolescents don't have maturity so by seeing in mobile like news and videos they think it is true and parents don't have any time to see children and teenagers mobiles that's why criminal mentality is increasing in juvenile and adolescents. For instance, survey by indian police department these days most of the crimes are done by mobiles and ample of people are seeing crime videos in mobile some unmaturity are missusing this technology. As a result, crime rate is increased very significant that impact on childrens and teenagers is more that's why criminal mentality is increasing. Furthermore, government has plethora amount of power in their hands so they can restrict the crime videos and pressure the technology companies to monitor crime news and videos. In addition, parents should not give free hand to their childrens and parents also monitor thier childrens what they are doing in mobiles. For example, in United States and United Kingdom has created one law for technology companies that is every applications and mobiles should have parents control option by this parents can get to know about childrens activities. Thus, with the help of government and companies this crime problem can be solved. In conclusion, parents should check their childrens with helps parents solely crime can be reduced in childrens and teenagers and also government should not give permission to technology companies they need to check how safe for childrens point of view also.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
crime
is rising in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of mobiles.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with a hyphen.
non profit
Possible spelling mistake. ‘organisation’ is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can solve this problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, These days mobiles is ubiquitous every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
are using the mobiles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don't know what they are doing and seeing in their mobiles.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
don't have maturity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by seeing in mobile like news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is true and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don't have any time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
mobiles that's why criminal mentality is increasing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adolescents
.
For instance
, survey by
Possible spelling mistake found.
indian
police department these days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are done
by mobiles and ample of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
in mobile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
unmaturity
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
missusing
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate
is increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant that impact on
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is more that's why criminal mentality is increasing.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has plethora amount of power in their hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can restrict the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and pressure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to monitor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not give free hand to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
monitor
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
what they are doing in mobiles.
For example
,
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the United States”.
in United States
and United Kingdom has created one law for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that is
every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “application”?
applications
and mobiles should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
control option by
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘parents’. Did you mean “these”?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
activities.
Thus
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
problem can
be solved
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
solely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not give permission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
how safe for
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
point of view
also
.
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IELTS essay Criminality is growing among children and teenagers. Why is it growing and how should these criminals be treated?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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