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Some people use internet to take advice for their medical problems rather than seeing a doctor. Why is it so ? It is positive or negative development according to you?

Some people use internet to take advice for their medical problems rather than seeing a doctor. Why is it so? It is positive or negative development according to you? o1b83
Several individuals prefer to cure their health condition over the internet instead of visiting a hospital. There are so many reasons why citizens are doing so, but it is a negative developement as per my point of view, which is described as below. First of all, people tend to treat themselves when any medical cosequences accur. As majority of human being has become more money minded, they are searching for the ways to save some. So they search for the cure online, and their bills will be saved. Moreover, medical treatments are very costly. Poor residents are not be able to afford it. For example, this covid situation was so heavy on the pocket of petients that is why instead of paying long bills and still having no assurence of being alive they decided to not to go to doctors. Even though, civillians do not want to weigh their wallets there are so many detrimental outcomes of this causes. First and foremost, there are some chances of harming oneself evenmore. Since the person will not know exactly what is the root of their disease they will not be able to treat it just by searching it on the google. Apart from this, if the numbers of the individuals, who avoids proper solution, can harm medical centeres as well. Since, they will not be treated by health carebodies they will also suffer from unemployment. Just like, small clinics are disappearing day by day just because they are providing minor treatments. To conclude this, patients are risking their own lives just to save some money, which can be harmful to themselves. That's why in order to prevent these situation, government and hospitals should spread awareness.
Several individuals prefer to cure their health condition over the internet
instead
of visiting a hospital. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why citizens are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
developement
as per my point of view, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
as below.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to treat themselves when any medical
Possible spelling mistake found.
cosequences
Possible spelling mistake found.
accur
. As
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
human being has become more money minded, they are searching for the ways to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they search for the cure online, and their bills will
be saved
.
Moreover
, medical treatments are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly. Poor residents are not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
able to afford it.
For example
, this
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
situation was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
heavy on the pocket of
Possible spelling mistake found.
petients
that is
why
instead
of paying long bills and
still
having no
Possible spelling mistake found.
assurence
of being alive they decided
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
go to doctors.

Even though
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
civillians
do not want to weigh their wallets there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental outcomes of
Did you mean "these"?
this
causes.
First
and foremost, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chances of harming oneself
Possible spelling mistake found.
evenmore
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the person will not know exactly what is the root of their disease they will not be able to treat it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by searching it on the
"Google" is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
google
. Apart from this, if the numbers of the individuals, who avoids proper solution, can harm medical
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "centers", the plural form of the noun 'center'?
centeres
as well
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, they will not
be treated
by health
Possible spelling mistake found.
carebodies
they will
also
suffer from unemployment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
clinics are disappearing day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are providing minor treatments.

To conclude
this, patients are risking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money, which can be harmful to themselves. That's why in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Did you mean "this situation" or "these situations"?
these situation
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and hospitals should spread awareness.
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IELTS essay Some people use internet to take advice for their medical problems rather than seeing a doctor. Why is it so? It is positive or negative development according to you?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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