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Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. LXaR
While some people believe that students should go to either college or university to complete their higher education, others argue that they should start working on their career as soon as they finish high school. In my opinion, I completely agree with people who said that pupils must complete their education after they finished high school. On the one hand, several people think students should go to universities to complete their studies, and they must have a university certification to gain some skills that will make them professional in their future occupations. To illustrate, through the university years the students acquire a plethora of skills such as time management, patience, and other effective skills, therefore, make them become competent professionals in their job. For example, no one can become a doctor without skills that can only be obtained from education years at universities. Despite this vital reason why should pupils go to universities and pursue higher education, others are still have another opinion. In terms of people who disagree with students complete their studies at the universities, and prefer for students to directly go to work after they finish high school education to serve society. The main reason why these people claim that because they believe several jobs do not require a university degree. For instance, it is not necessary to need a degree to be a waiter and work in a restaurant. To clarify, the waiters need some skills instead of academic knowledge to be professional at their work. That is why they believe pupils do not need to spend years in a college if they will work at jobs did not need a college degree. To conclude, while a university degree is a must for specific professions there are many sectors that value work experience and skills more. In my point of view, it is important for students to complete their studies to be professional workers and to have a lot of job opportunities.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should go to either college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, others argue that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working on their career as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they finish high school. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who said that pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
after they finished high school.

On the one hand, several
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
their studies, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
certification to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
in their future occupations. To illustrate, through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
acquire a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as time management, patience, and other effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become competent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, no one can become a doctor without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be obtained
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
years at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. Despite this vital reason why should pupils go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, others are
still
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
another opinion.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who disagree with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
their studies at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, and prefer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
directly
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after they finish high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to serve society. The main reason why these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
do not require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree.
For instance
, it is not necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a degree to be a waiter and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a restaurant. To clarify, the waiters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
instead
of academic knowledge to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
That is
why they believe pupils do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend years in a college if they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a college degree.

To conclude
, while a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for specific professions there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors that value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
more. In my point of view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
complete
their studies to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
workers and to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
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IELTS essay Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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