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Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Our world is changing every second. Accepting woman to the army is one of the examples of that. It is agreed that female should be allowed to join the army like male. It can be shown by solving the problem of inequality and making women stronger physically and mentally. Firstly, it will solve the problem of inequality. Nowadays inequality between genders is getting the most important problem. People say that everyone has the same rights and there should not be any exceptions. If woman can wear pants, so why man cannot? If man goes to the army, so why woman does not? Most of the pretensions are directed to boys, while they do not feel comfortable with that. I think that if the woman were joined to the army, this would be the solution of the social problem. So, inequality could be solved. Secondly, accepting woman as soldiers can make them stronger physically and mentally. Naturally woman is known as “a weak gender”. For disappearing this stereotype girls do their best but in most cases it does not work well. In my opinion, military training can help in developing the skills like physical and mental strength. For example, getting up early, running and doing exercises makes them physically and inside ready for any situation. Thus, in the future these women can demonstrate highly effective way of becoming independent and controlled versions of them. It is helpful in life and situations as planning the actions and reaching the goals. So, it shows that army help woman in rising physically and mentally. In conclusion, the women should be allowed to join the army like men. Solving the problem of inequality and making women stronger prove this.
Our world is changing every second. Accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
is one of the examples of that. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that female should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
like male. It can
be shown
by solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
and mentally.

Firstly
, it will solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
between genders is getting the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
say that everyone has the same rights and there should not be any exceptions. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
can wear pants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
cannot? If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
goes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
does not? Most of the pretensions
are directed
to boys, while they do not feel comfortable with that. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
, this would be the solution of the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
could
be solved
.

Secondly
, accepting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
as soldiers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
and mentally.
Naturally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
is known
as “a weak gender”. For disappearing this stereotype girls do their best
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in most cases
it does not work well. In my opinion, military training can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in developing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like physical and mental strength.
For example
, getting up early, running and doing exercises
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
and inside ready for any situation.
Thus
, in the future these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can demonstrate
highly
effective way of becoming independent and controlled versions of them. It is helpful in life and situations as planning the actions and reaching the goals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
in rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physically
and mentally.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
army
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inequality
and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
stronger prove this.
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IELTS essay Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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