Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think the zoo is cruel and all zoos should be closed. While others think that the zoo is useful for the protection of rare animals. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Some people think the zoo is cruel and all zoos should be closed. While others think that the zoo is useful for the protection of rare animals. KyxJR
Animals play an important role in the ecosystem. Society is in a dilemma as to whether zoos should be banned for being cruel to living creatures or whether they help save rare animals. Different people have different mindsets. However, both have their own advantages and disadvantages. The next paragraph will clarify both approaches before commenting on my decision, starting with the first idea that a zoo can be closed permanently because it is cruel, there are numerous things to share in its favor. The first and foremost is to lose the freedom of animals. As a result due to lack of space in the zoo the animals do not move freely in the circulation area and cannot live happily. As a symbol of this view, Ahmedabad National Park has an area of ​​only 200 square meters for the lion family. The family only has to live in a restricted area, although the lion is known as the 'King of the Jungle'. Second, conditions at the zoo are often poor. Sometimes care is taken when treating organisms. Consequently, these behaviors by humans can impair the mental health of animals. It is helpful to shift to another school of Chintan Zoo to provide shelter to rare species of animals. First, all the basic facilities are provided to the endangered species. Thus, there are many doctors and caregivers available to keep these animals safe. For example, the USA government created a sanctuary for white rhinos. This authority has the land to put all the facilities for these rhinos. The purpose of this organization is to provide a conducive environment for these people. Second, the zoo protects rare animals from being hunted by other wild animals. As such, they spend the quality of their time fearlessly and happily. In conclusion, the zoo provides the best facilities to the animals but sometimes due to lack of care, it can also cause problems for the animals. In my opinion, in order to improve the quality of life of animals, both the government and the individuals should put their best foot together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the ecosystem. Society is in a dilemma
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
zoos should
be banned
for being cruel to living creatures or whether they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
mindsets.
However
, both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages. The
next
paragraph will clarify both approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commenting on my decision, starting with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that a zoo can
be closed
permanently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is cruel, there are numerous things to share in its favor. The
first
and foremost is to lose the freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
As a result
due to lack of space in the zoo the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
in the circulation area and cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
. As a symbol of this view, Ahmedabad National Park has an area of ​​
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
200 square meters for the lion family. The family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a restricted area, although the lion
is known
as the 'King of the Jungle'. Second, conditions at the zoo are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
poor.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
care
is taken
when treating organisms.
Consequently
, these behaviors by humans can impair the mental health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. It is helpful to shift to another school of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chintan
Zoo to provide shelter to rare species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
First
, all the basic facilities
are provided
to the endangered species.
Thus
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors and caregivers available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
safe.
For example
, the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
created a sanctuary for white rhinos. This authority has the land to put all the facilities for these rhinos. The purpose of this organization is to provide a conducive environment for these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Second, the zoo protects rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from
being hunted
by other wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. As such, they spend the quality of their time
fearlessly
and
happily
.
In conclusion
, the zoo provides the best facilities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
due to lack of care, it can
also
cause problems for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. In my opinion, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the individuals should put their best foot together.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think the zoo is cruel and all zoos should be closed. While others think that the zoo is useful for the protection of rare animals.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts