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Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education is regarded as the backbone of a country’s strength. Schools are places where children gain knowledge about not only becoming productive members of society but also moneymakers. Therefore, how a person is educated in educational institutes has a major impact on their life and society as a whole. While I agree with the idea that education prepares children to be law-abiding citizens and workers since schools provide them with good lessons, I also think that schooling helps them grow individually because of trained teachers. It is well known that pupils learn a wide range of subjects at school from culture to economy, which brings them in-depth knowledge about how to behave correctly and to earn money legally. Not only are lessons designed based on real stories about cultural value and economic progress, but they also are widely socially accepted as a standard to educate citizens, whereby children can learn skills and rules that enable them to succeed in the job market. For example, a recent study showed that 95% of well-educated children in Vietnam do not break the laws and also know how to earn a living themselves. Nonetheless, the educational system should develop children individually at the same time to maximize the learners’ potential. It is important for children to learn with teachers who are competent and skilled, also help them to understand their strengths and improve their weaknesses. This is linked in part to the formation of their personality at the early stage when children often see their instructor as a role model. Furthermore, experienced teachers can help them discover their potential and build confidence in them so that they can self-grow even if they are at home without a teacher’s help. 95% of ideal children in the study possess punctuality and interpersonal skills and integrate them efficiently into earning an income. In conclusion, some individuals ascertain that the main objective of schools is to make children become better citizens and to ensure their livelihood because children gain great value from practical schooling sessions. While I totally agree with this notion, I also believe that growing children individually should be emphasized because of professional teachers at school. Ultimately, being an ideal citizen, a productive worker as well as a person with great personality traits is truly prosperous to a country.
Education
is regarded
as the backbone of a country’s strength.
Schools
are places where
children
gain knowledge about not
only
becoming productive members of society
but
also
moneymakers.
Therefore
, how a person
is educated
in educational institutes has a major impact on their life and society as a whole. While I
agree
with the
idea
that education prepares
children
to be law-abiding
citizens
and workers since
schools
provide them with
good
lessons, I
also
think
that schooling
helps
them grow
individually
because
of trained teachers.

It is well known that pupils learn a wide range of subjects at
school
from culture to economy, which brings them in-depth knowledge about how to behave
correctly
and to earn money
legally
. Not
only
are lessons designed based on real stories about cultural value and economic progress,
but
they
also
are
widely
socially
accepted
as a standard to educate
citizens
, whereby
children
can learn
skills
and
rules
that enable them to succeed in the job market.
For example
, a recent study
showed
that 95% of well-educated
children
in Vietnam do not break the laws and
also
know how to earn a living themselves. Nonetheless, the educational system should develop
children
individually
at the same time to maximize the learners’ potential.

It is
important
for
children
to learn with
teachers
who are competent and skilled,
also
help
them to understand their strengths and
improve
their weaknesses. This
is linked
in part to the formation of their personality at the early stage when
children
often
see
their instructor as a role model.
Furthermore
, experienced
teachers
can
help
them discover their potential and build confidence in them
so
that they can self-grow even if they are at home without a
teacher’s
help
. 95% of ideal
children
in the study possess punctuality and interpersonal
skills
and integrate them
efficiently
into earning an income.

In conclusion
,
some
individuals ascertain that the main objective of
schools
is to
make
children
become better
citizens
and to ensure their livelihood
because
children
gain great value from practical schooling sessions. While I
totally
agree
with this notion, I
also
believe that growing
children
individually
should
be emphasized
because
of professional
teachers
at
school
.
Ultimately
, being an ideal
citizen
, a productive worker
as well
as a person with great personality traits is
truly
prosperous to a country.
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IELTS essay Some people think the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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