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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others is there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is fact that, in current time, extension of species and some plant is the major concern. However, a group of thinkers believe that there are another environmental problems such as acid rain, increasing temperature is the the greater trouble than other problems. Both the views have its own reasons. Before commencing my view both the points will be discussed further. Examining the former opinion, supporters are worrying about the the major environmental problem which is loosing some types of animals and plants. There are two main reasons for this situation firstly, although public is aware of the environmental problem, they do not prevent deforestation. More and more houses are built that caused the deforestation. Secondly, layman is not only responsible for the situation, but also government is not taking proper actions. This is because implimented legislations are not followed properly by public. On the contrary, other supporter's view suggest that there are many other problems which are more important than the function of plants and breeds of animals such as acid drain and hike in temperature. This occurs because of the depletion of Ozone layer and massive use of motor vehicles. It can be caused of major illness such as asthma and cancer. For instance, in Delhi and Mumbai pollution is uncontrolled. Slightly temperature is rising and people are suffering from disease. In conclusion, I will say that spreading awareness among people about environmental problems is the best way to solve these troubles. This can be done through government by employing rules for saving environment.
It is fact that, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time, extension of species and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plant is the major concern.
However
, a group of thinkers
Possible agreement error. Did you mean “believes”? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so ‘believe’ is not always incorrect.)
believe
that there are another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as acid rain, increasing temperature is
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “the” or “the” is left.
the the
greater trouble than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Both the views have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
commencing my view both the points will
be discussed
further
. Examining the former opinion, supporters are worrying about
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only “the” or “the” is left.
the the
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which is loosing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of animals and plants. There are two main reasons for this situation
firstly
, although public is aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
deforestation. More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are built
that caused the deforestation.
Secondly
, layman is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
responsible for the situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not taking proper actions. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
implimented
legislations are not followed
properly
by public.
On the contrary
, other supporter's view suggest that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the function of plants and breeds of animals such as acid drain and hike in temperature. This occurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the depletion of Ozone layer and massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of motor vehicles. It can
be caused
of major illness such as asthma and cancer.
For instance
, in Delhi and Mumbai pollution
is uncontrolled
.
Slightly
temperature is rising and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suffering from disease.
In conclusion
, I will say that spreading awareness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is the best way to solve these troubles. This can
be done
through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by employing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for saving environment.

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others is there are more important environmental problems.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
256 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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