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Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. pga0
Few people believe that developing business and cultural relationships between different nations has a positive outcome. While others think it affects one's countries identity. In my opinion, I completely agree with the fact that building a bonding with other nations in terms of business or cultural wise has a positive outcome. It's going help in one's countries economy at the same time its citizen's responsibility to protect their identities despite having contact with different nations. On one hand, Growing business or cultural relationship is more important with other nations, it is going help the ecosystem of both countries. In other words, exporting and importing goods would help in terms of making a strong economy. There are numerous countries that are considered to be developing nations these trust and relations with other countries support is needed for the development of the country. For instance, A small nation called the Maldives which runs on tourism get many things imported from India, otherwise, it provides free visa for Indians it's due to the fact that they have good contact and trust between them. Also in an uncertain situation like covid India has provided free vaccination to many countries, this can bring more positive effects. On other hand, If we start importing or exporting more and more goods from different countries and start giving opportunities to foreign people, definitely there will be some effect on the culture-wise. For example, if few companies start investing in developing countries and start a business in a different country, they start dominating people with foreign traditions. Tackling this issue is difficult since foreign companies are giving opportunities and providing jobs to many people. In conclusion, I believe both are important, having a business and cultural contact also not losing the one countries identity. As both play a crucial role in their own way.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it affects one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
identity. In my opinion, I completely
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
building a bonding with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
wise has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcome. It's going
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
economy at the same time its citizen's responsibility to protect their identities despite having contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations.

On one hand, Growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
relationship is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, it is going
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the ecosystem of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,

exporting and importing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in terms of making a strong economy. There are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
are considered
to be developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
Did you mean "this trust" or "these trusts"?
these trust
and relations with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
support
is needed
for the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
called the Maldives which runs on tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things imported from India,
otherwise
, it provides free visa for Indians it's due to the fact that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
contact and trust between them.
Also
in an uncertain situation like
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
India has provided free vaccination to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, this can bring more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, If we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
importing or exporting more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
giving opportunities to foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, definitely there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effect on the culture-wise.
For example
, if few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
investing in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
dominating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with foreign traditions. Tackling this issue is difficult since foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are giving opportunities and providing jobs to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I believe both are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
contact
also
not losing the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
identity.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
both play a crucial role in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way.
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IELTS essay Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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