Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. v. 4
There are many forms stay active. Some believe that by doing everyday chores is considered effective, while others argue that by going to the gym is the best way to stay healthy, which I completely agree with. When you join a club, you will go there frequently, but walking and climbing daily is not sufficient. To begin with, even if there are several others ways to stay fit, but the best alternative is by joining a fitness club. Because a fitness club is filled with various facilities such as treadmills, bikes, and dumbbell, we could use those facilities alternatively and we want to go there regularly. In addition to that, when we stick to those facilities regularly, we would build up the habit to do exercise regularly. Whereby, a regular exercise, as recommended by WHO, is good for you to prevent health problems like cardiovascular disease. Therefore, with some many facilities provided from a club, this is the best alternative to stay active. On the other hands, there are misconception that by doing daily walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Despite the fact that you need to walk a long distance from your house to the office or you choose to climb your office's stairs instead of taking a lift, those are not considered as regular exercise. For example, when you are busy with meeting and leaving late, you might choose to take a taxi or bus. Whereby, you will not do this regularly as you are constantly getting distracted by uncertainty. Therefore, this is not the best alternative by doing your normal chores. To conclude, there is the best way to stay healthy by joining a club and go there regularly, also, there are misunderstanding that walking and climbing could be sufficient. In my opinion, if you can consistently, regularly, at least going to gym 3 times a week, you could achieve your goal to become fitter.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
active.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that by doing everyday chores
is considered
effective, while others argue that by going to the gym is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
healthy, which I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
, you will go there
frequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
walking and climbing daily is not sufficient.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, even if there are several others ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
fit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
alternative is by joining a fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
a fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
is filled
with various facilities such as treadmills, bikes, and dumbbell, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those facilities
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
alternatively and
we want to go there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
.
In addition
to that, when we stick to those facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
, we would build up the habit to do exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
. Whereby, a regular exercise, as recommended by
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
health problems like cardiovascular disease.
Therefore
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities provided from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
, this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
alternative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
active.

On the other hands, there are misconception that by doing daily walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Despite the fact that you need to walk a long distance from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to the office or you choose to climb your office's stairs
instead
of taking a lift, those are not considered as regular exercise.
For example
, when you are busy with meeting and leaving late, you might choose to take a taxi or bus. Whereby, you will not do this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
as you are
constantly
getting distracted by uncertainty.
Therefore
, this is not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
alternative by doing your normal chores.

To conclude
, there is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
healthy by joining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
club
and go there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
,
also
, there are misunderstanding that walking and climbing could be sufficient. In my opinion, if you can
consistently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regularly
, at least going to gym 3 times a week, you could achieve your goal to become fitter.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the best way to stay fit is joining a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts