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Some people work for the same organization all their working live. Others think that it is better to work for different organization. Dicuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people work for the same organization all their working live. Others think that it is better to work for different organization. Dicuss both views and give your own opinion. v. 1
People have different views about whether they should remain in the same business throughout their working life. In my opinion, both ideas are good, but it is way more advantageous to change the working environment sometimes. This essay will discuss both views. In the first place, I agree that staying with the same organization provide workers with different benefits. At first, people who spend a good portion of time working in an institution have the advantage of thoroughly understanding how it works and also becoming familiar with the staffs and processes. It therefore drives businesses successfully and eventually give employees the opportunity of promotion, which means that they can probably get higher remuneration. Moreover, there is likely to be greater job security, with the promise of a good pension when they retire. Finally, employers highly value loyalty and may offer additional incentives to long-term employees, including bonuses and reward schemes. However, one of the drawbacks of staying with the same company is that the person may get stuck doing the same job year after year, which can perhaps result in boredom and disillusionment. Moving from one organization to another can be considered as a strategic decision in order to have variety and acquire a range of skills and experience. For example, my sister started out as a medical practitioner, she then joined the Public Health Association a period of time, and is currently operating a care home in Vietnam. This has made her incredibly knowledgeable in a range of related fields and provided her with, I think, much more interesting working life. In conclusion, although working for the same organization sounds good, I believe that it is also extremely valuable for people to be able to offer a wide range of experience having worked for different companies. As long as it is planned carefully, I feel that change is good and will ultimately benefit the employee.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether they should remain in the same business throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life. In my opinion, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is way more advantageous to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. This essay will discuss both views.

In the
first
place, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that staying with the same organization provide workers with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
benefits. At
first
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
portion of time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in an institution have the advantage of
thoroughly
understanding how it works and
also
becoming familiar with the staffs and processes. It
therefore
drives businesses
successfully
and
eventually
give employees the opportunity of promotion, which means that they can
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher remuneration.
Moreover
, there is likely to be greater job security, with the promise of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
pension when they retire.
Finally
, employers
highly
value loyalty and may offer additional incentives to long-term employees, including bonuses and reward schemes.

However
, one of the drawbacks of staying with the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is that the person may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck doing the same job year after year, which can perhaps result in boredom and disillusionment. Moving from one organization to another can
be considered
as a strategic decision in order to have variety and acquire a range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and experience.
For example
, my sister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
out as a medical practitioner, she then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the Public Health Association a period of time, and is
currently
operating a care home in Vietnam. This has made her
incredibly
knowledgeable in a range of related fields and provided her with, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, much more interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same organization sounds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
, I believe that it is
also
extremely
valuable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be able to offer a wide range of experience having worked for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. As long as it
is planned
carefully
, I feel that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and will
ultimately
benefit the employee.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organization all their working live. Others think that it is better to work for different organization. Dicuss both views and give your own opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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