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Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. 25Pwb
It is clear that crime is a serious problem facing all societies. Some people believe that the optimal measure to bring down crime rates is to keep criminals in prison for longer. Personally, I disagree with this view. First of all, longer imprisonment simply will not work. In reality, many people who commit serious crimes and are sentenced to many years in prison reoffend after they get out of prison. For example, it is very common for drug offenders to start dealing again right after they have served their sentences. In addition, putting people in jail for a long time could cause serious problems for family members who depend on them. Their spouses, children or elderly parents may lose the financial and mental support that they need, and this could result in great emotional pain, a lack of parenting and older people not getting enough medical attention. Second, there are much better solutions to crimes. One of them is improving prison education. By teaching prisoners useful skills and knowledge to help them get a job more easily after they get out of jail, we can greatly reduce the chances of them committing crimes again. At the same time, there needs to be more emphasis on crime education at school. Students, especially teenagers, need to be aware of how severe punishments for crimes can be as well as the social impact of criminal acts so as to be deterred from becoming a wrongdoer in the future. In conclusion, increasing the number of years that an inmate has to serve in prison is not a good way to reduce crime, and education is a much better approach to deal with this issue.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a serious problem facing all societies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the optimal measure to bring down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
criminals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
for longer.
Personally
, I disagree with this view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, longer imprisonment
simply
will not work. In reality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who commit serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
are sentenced
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffend
after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for drug offenders to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
dealing again right after they have served their sentences.
In addition
, putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in jail for a long time could cause serious problems for family members who depend on them. Their spouses, children or elderly parents may lose the financial and mental support that they need, and this could result in great emotional pain, a lack of parenting and older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
medical attention.

Second, there are much better solutions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. One of them is improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
education. By teaching prisoners useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job more
easily
after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of jail, we can
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the chances of them committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again. At the same time, there needs to be more emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
education at school. Students,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, need to be aware of how severe punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can be
as well
as the social impact of criminal acts
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be deterred
from becoming a wrongdoer in the future.

In conclusion
, increasing the number of years that an inmate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
serve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, and education is a much better approach to deal with this issue.
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IELTS essay Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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