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Some people think the best way to deal with the corona virus is to lock down countries. Others think a less restrictive approach would be better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the best way to deal with the corona virus is to lock down countries. Others think a less restrictive approach would be better. n5J7
In modern times, when the corona virus is on the rise, It is suggested that the best way to fight the corona virus is thought to be to lock the countries down. Some of the society groups believe that restrictions should be less because of certain a number of reasons. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favor of the latter. Many people argue that in order to protect the country from the corona virus, it is necessary to hide it from external factors. There are two main reasons why a number of people suggested to lock down countries. First of all, A lot of visitors come to our country every year for traveling historical places such as Bukhara and Samarkand. Some people think that the visitors may bring the corona virus to our country with themselves. Secondly, Our country is not a good developed one, that’s why some productions such as some clothes, some fruits, telephone and its parts are come from other countries. As a result, Corona virus also come with these type of production. For above the reasons, Some people think that countries should be locked down. On the other hand, There are also two major factors why people believe that limitations have to be less. One of the main reasons is occurrence of product shortages. As I mentioned earlier, some products are imported from overseas. If the restrictions are increased, the roads abroad will be closed and the product will not be brought to us. Another reason is an increase in the number of unemployed and people suffering financially. For instance, If we don’t leave our home, we will not go our work after that we will suffer financial problems. As a result, some people starve to death, and some commit suicide because of hardship. That’s why restrictions have to be less and people should be allowed to work. In conclusion, both approaches are a little true which one will have fewer restrictions and the other is to lock down the country. On the contrary, I think it’s good that there should be fewer restrictions.
In modern times, when the corona
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
is on the rise, It
is suggested
that the best way to fight the corona
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be to lock the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
down.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
society groups believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
should be less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of certain a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. This essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favor of the latter.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that in order to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from the corona
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
it from external factors. There are two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'suggested' is used with the gerund form: "suggested locking".
suggested to lock
down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
every year for traveling historical places such as Bukhara and Samarkand.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the visitors may bring the corona
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with themselves.
Secondly
, Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
developed one, that’s why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
productions such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clothes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fruits, telephone and its parts are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
, Corona
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with these type of production. For above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
be locked
down.

On the other hand
, There are
also
two major factors why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that limitations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be less. One of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is occurrence of product shortages. As I mentioned earlier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
products
are imported
from overseas. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
are increased
, the roads abroad will
be closed
and the product will not
be brought
to us. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is an increase in the number of unemployed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering
financially
.
For instance
, If we don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
our home, we will not go our work after that we will suffer financial problems.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
starve to death, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commit suicide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of hardship. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be less and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to work.

In conclusion
, both approaches are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
true which one will have fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
and the other is to lock down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
On the contrary
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
that there should be fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restrictions
.
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IELTS essay Some people think the best way to deal with the corona virus is to lock down countries. Others think a less restrictive approach would be better.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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