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People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life more comfortable, but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism.

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life more comfortable, but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. k1DR
To begin with, most of the persons spend much time in their profession, because, of earning more money. They always think affect their dream activity, such as: a car, a big bungalow and stress less soul. Therefore, half of the liveliness they spend for making money and fulfils the dreams. For instance, in this era some of the youngsters buy a new smart phone and they do works hard. Also, they are leaving long distance their families. On the other hand, the expansion of technology in developing countries influenced people's life style and traditional in various ways. Firstly, in this century, most of the children spend more extent on electronic gadget as compared to the past. Secondly, fast food has become most popular in all over the world. Therefore, some critical diseases are created, like cancer, physical pain and so on. To the next, in India women would wear sarees in the previous, but, now elderly woman also wears gowns, shorts and so on.
To
begin
with, most of the persons spend much time in their profession,
because
, of earning more money. They always
think
affect their dream activity, such as: a car, a
big
bungalow and
stress
less soul.
Therefore
, half of the liveliness they spend for making money and
fulfils
the dreams.
For instance
, in this era
some of the
youngsters
buy
a new smart
phone and
they do
works
hard
.
Also
, they are leaving long distance their families.

On the other hand
, the expansion of technology in
developing countries
influenced
people
's life style and traditional in various ways.
Firstly
, in this century, most of the children spend more extent on electronic gadget as compared to the past.
Secondly
,
fast
food has become most popular in all over the world.
Therefore
,
some
critical diseases
are created
, like cancer, physical pain and
so
on. To the
next
, in India women would wear sarees in the previous,
but
,
now
elderly woman
also
wears gowns, shorts and
so
on.
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IELTS essay People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life more comfortable, but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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