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some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion?

some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. nPyo
Nowadays it is frequently argued that whether zoos are helpful for species or not. While it is considered by some that wildlife parks are inhumane and should be shut up, there are others who think they are help to preserve wild species. This essay will discuss why zoos are useful for animals and why ultimately they need to be closed. On the one hand, a number of species can protect from extinction because of they are in captivity. There are a number of breeding programs around the world. These programs preserve animals who under endangered. A good example of this is the golden lion which nearly died out. Thanks to this breeding program now they are still alive in wildlife. Therefore, zoos are protect the creatures from extinction. On the other hand, zoos are not the species` natural environment. People are keeping them in small cages and these creatures can not move as they want or behave naturally. This can lead to becoming depressed as well as suffering physically because of the lack of the exercises. For instance, last year a wildlife park where is located in Turkey was closed. Because it was not enough convenient for the species. It is safe to say that keeping creatures in captivity is cruel and zoos should be shut down. To conclude, numerous animals are keeping in captivity. This essay discussed why keeping species in wildlife park useful for saving endangered creatures but why zoos are unnatural environment and they should be shut down. In my opinion, species should live in their habitat not in zoos.
Nowadays it is
frequently
argued that whether zoos are helpful for species or not. While it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
parks are inhumane and should
be shut
up, there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to preserve wild species. This essay will discuss why zoos are useful for animals and why
ultimately
they need to
be closed
.

On the one hand, a number of species can protect from extinction
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
are in captivity. There are a number of breeding programs around the world. These programs preserve animals who under endangered. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is the golden lion which
nearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
out. Thanks to this breeding program
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are
still
alive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
.
Therefore
, zoos are
Consider using a past participle here: "protected".
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
from extinction.

On the other hand
, zoos are not the species` natural environment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are keeping them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
cages and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
as they want or behave
naturally
. This can lead to becoming depressed
as well
as suffering
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of the exercises.
For instance
, last year a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
park where
is located
in Turkey
was closed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
convenient for the species. It is safe to say that keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
in captivity is cruel and zoos should
be shut
down.

To conclude
, numerous animals are keeping in captivity. This essay discussed why keeping species in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
park useful for saving endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creatures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why zoos are unnatural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment and
they should
be shut
down. In my opinion, species should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their habitat not in zoos.
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IELTS essay some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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