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Some people think that young people should follow the traditions of their society and others think young people should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In this generation we all know that in this age youngsters want to live their life freely. But some individuals think that they want to be attached with the tradition of their family while others believe that it’s their choice that how they want to live and behave and I strongly opine that it’s their life and they have rights to choose their lifestyle. On the one hand, some say teenagers want to follow their grandparents' culture because it is a past tradition and it strongly ties their relationship with each other. It also makes them understand about their culture and past which help them to grow. For example nowadays most of the adults are addicted to many bad habits which spoil their future and life but in many cases many youngsters give first priority to their tradition and culture and stay away from the bad habits. On the other hand, some people think that in this generation where all the other things are upgraded, why not our childrens. It is much better if they live their life on their own, because it helps them to achieve many things in their life and it also gives them independence to live their life fully without any external pressure. Also they have rights to choose their path because only they know what they want to become and it's their life and obviously it’s their choice. For example if somebody wants to become a sports person but their parents wanted their child to become engineer or doctor which that person does not like, so it is possible that this decision by their parents spoils their child's future. In my opinion, I strongly believe that young people have rights to choose their path without any interaction but also they want to choose and behave wisely because it’s their life. In summary, the young generation must have rights to choose their own life but also they want to adopt good habits which make their life more visible.
In this generation we all know that in this age youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
freely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
be attached
with the tradition of their family while others believe that it’s their choice that how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behave and
I
strongly
opine that it’s their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their lifestyle.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to follow their grandparents' culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a past
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tradition and
it
strongly
ties their relationship with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them understand about their culture and past which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to grow.
For example
nowadays most of the adults
are addicted
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits which spoil their future and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters give
first
priority to their tradition and culture and stay away from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in this generation where all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things
are upgraded
, why not our
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
. It is much better if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
it
also
gives them independence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
fully
without any external pressure.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they know what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
become and
it's their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
obviously
it’s their choice.
For example
if somebody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to become a sports
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their parents wanted their child to become engineer or doctor which that person does not like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is possible that this decision by their parents spoils their child's future.

In my opinion, I
strongly
believe that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their path without any interaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
and behave
wisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s their life.

In summary, the young generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to adopt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more visible.
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IELTS essay Some people think that young people should follow the traditions of their society and others think young people should be free to behave as individuals.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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