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Some people think that young people should choose their professions themselves. Others believe that their parents should choose for them.

Some people think that young people should choose their professions themselves. Others believe that their parents should choose for them. rk91N
Opinions are divided as to whether young individuals should make their own decision when choose career or their parents need to do it for young people. I completely agree with the idea that youngsters have to make a choice of occupation. On the one hand, the first reason is that parents have lots of experience than their children, they have seen the world better than their kids and thus, their decision would be better and correct. That is why it is necessary for the young to listen to their parents’ advice. Furthermore, youngsters should be more grateful to their parents in this world. Parents are the ones who suffer a lot of difficulties and bring up them so that they can live healthier and happier life. It is the desire of every parent to see their children well settled in their life, so they have the right to choose a better career for their kids. Despite the aforementioned arguments, I am of the opinion that the young have to choose their career. One rationale is that selecting a job based on young people’s interests and passion could lead to a fulfilling and satisfying job. It is mainly because that if youngsters are keen on some jobs, and are able to choose it to be their main professions in the future, they will perform the jobs better with dedication. They have a right to live their dreams without their parents’ intervention. Moreover, if the young follow a career path chosen by their parents and which is not of their interest, they will have to face a lot of challenges and pressure. To avoid such situations, they need to choose a career that interests them the most. In conclusion, while there is a variety of reasons to support the idea that parents need to decide a career for their children, I believe that it is better for young people to let them choose the jobs they want.
Opinions
are divided
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to do it for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice of occupation.

On the one hand, the
first
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have lots of experience than their children, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than their kids and
thus
, their decision would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and correct.
That is
why it is necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
advice.
Furthermore
, youngsters should be more grateful to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in this world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the ones who suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difficulties and bring up them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthier and happier life. It is the desire of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their children well settled in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have the right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
for their kids.

Despite the aforementioned arguments, I am of the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. One rationale is that selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s interests and passion could lead to a fulfilling and satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that if youngsters are keen on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, and are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
it to be their main professions in the future, they will perform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
with dedication. They have a right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their dreams without their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
intervention.
Moreover
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
follow a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path chosen by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and which is not of their interest, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
challenges and pressure. To avoid such situations, they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that interests them the most.

In conclusion
, while there is a variety of reasons to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to decide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
for their children, I believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they want.
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IELTS essay Some people think that young people should choose their professions themselves. Others believe that their parents should choose for them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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