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The Growth Of Online Shopping Will Lead To The Closure Of Shops In Cities And Towns

The Growth Of Online Shopping Will Lead To The Closure Of Shops In Cities And Towns KJG9
Nowadays, online shopping has become more popular. Millions of people are using online shopping compared to a big mall and open market. There are numbers of advantages and few disadvantages. Firstly, the young generation mainly prefers online shopping because of a wide range of varieties. Online shopping covers every age of people clothes. In rural area some people are preferring online shopping. For example, When I visited a mall for my western clothes. I have not seen a different variety of clothes and the cost of these clothes was too high. Similarly, I found numbers of varieties and huge differences in cost also. I experienced the material of online cloth is too good. Secondly, as per my knowledge the two online sites like myntra contain a good amount of clothes, electronic gadgets, utensils and first cry contain a large number of varieties of children clothes, diaper and footwear. I had experienced of my children's clothes and it was really good. However old age people prefer road and mall shopping. They thought road shop materials are very good and trustworthy. Old people didn't like online shopping. There are numbers of shops that built up their online app. To sum up, I agreed that online shopping will one day lead the business down of shops. If they want to run their business then they have to provide good quality and prepared online application of their own.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become more popular. Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
compared to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
mall and open market. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of advantages and few disadvantages.

Firstly
, the young generation
mainly
prefers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
varieties
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
covers every age of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. In rural area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
For example
, When I visited a mall for my western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. I have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
variety
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and the cost of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
was too high.
Similarly
, I found
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
varieties
and huge differences in cost
also
. I experienced the material of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cloth
is too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

Secondly
, as per my knowledge the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sites like
Possible spelling mistake found.
myntra
contain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, electronic gadgets, utensils and
first
cry contain a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
varieties
of children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, diaper and footwear. I had experienced of my children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and it was
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer road and mall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
road shop materials are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and trustworthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn't like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of shops that built up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
app.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will one day lead the business down of shops. If they want to run their business then they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
application of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
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IELTS essay The Growth Of Online Shopping Will Lead To The Closure Of Shops In Cities And Towns

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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