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Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive. v. 2
In this contemporary world, the gender difference is contracting remarkably. However, some people believe that the female is generally more composed than their other counterpart, because of their nature, which is nourishing and less violent. This essay will highlight why women are considered to be calm and supporting, and explain that even men could have a similar temperament. To begin with, a woman is known as the caretaker of the family, and is responsible for the nourishment of their child. Due to which, gentle sex is always taught by their parents about how their behaviour is of utmost importance in maintaining a balanced family life. For instance, the Nepal Police Society stated recently that 87℅ of the male are involved in the crime and violence, whereas only 13℅ is occupied by the opposite sex. Nevertheless, such traits as, nurturing and tranquil behaviour depends on the character of an individual, rather than the gender. Nowadays, the male is equally engaged in the household chores and rearing of a child, as female. There are men, who are extremely peaceful and supporting and there are women, who are excessively arrogant and violent, so such nature differ from person to person. To illustrate, a survey taken recently by the Malaysian School Society stated that, 78℅ of the pupil considered their father as an ideal and composed one than their mother, who were more strict and aggressive. Thus, the personality of a person varies significantly, and definitely does not rely on the gender. In conclusion, I believe that both male and female have the capabilities to execute the household tasks, as well as the professional duties. The personality of an individual depends more on their upbringing and surroundings, rather than the gender difference.
In this contemporary world, the gender difference is contracting
remarkably
.
However
,
some
people
believe that the female is
generally
more composed than their other counterpart,
because
of their nature, which is nourishing and less violent. This essay will highlight why women
are considered
to be calm and supporting, and
explain
that even
men
could have a similar temperament.

To
begin
with, a woman
is known
as the caretaker of the family, and is responsible for the nourishment of their child. Due to which, gentle sex is always taught by their parents about how their
behaviour
is of utmost importance in maintaining a balanced family life.
For instance
, the Nepal Police Society stated recently that 87℅ of the male
are involved
in the crime and violence, whereas
only
13℅
is occupied
by the opposite sex.

Nevertheless
, such traits as, nurturing and tranquil
behaviour
depends on the character of an individual,
rather
than the gender. Nowadays, the male is
equally
engaged in the household chores and rearing of a child, as female. There are
men
, who are
extremely
peaceful and supporting and there are women, who are
excessively
arrogant and violent,
so
such nature differ from person to person. To illustrate, a survey taken recently by the Malaysian School Society stated that, 78℅ of the pupil considered their father as an ideal and composed
one
than their mother, who were more strict and aggressive.
Thus
, the personality of a person varies
significantly
, and definitely does not rely on the gender.

In conclusion
, I believe that both male and female have the capabilities to execute the household tasks,
as well
as the professional duties. The personality of an individual depends more on their upbringing and surroundings,
rather
than the gender difference.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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