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Some people think that when students finish courses at high schools, they should have a one-year gap to travel or experience real life before entering universities. To what extend do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people think that when students finish courses at high schools, they should have a one-year gap to travel or experience real life before entering universities. with the statement? Yk1rn
Taking a one-year gap may give us a better chance to prepare for other skills before entering university, but not all people have a clear purpose for their choice. I completely disagree with this statement First of all, wasting time trying to learn as much as possible isn’t a good way to have experience, struggling to improve the score is one of the biggest reasons why people choose to spend a one-year gap, for example, you are studying both in university and SAT center at the same course. You feel upset because the score isn’t as high as you expected. You decide to take a gap to improve the SAT score. From month to month, nothing improved so much, as a result, you may feel regret for what you have done. Maybe you are better or just feeling the same as in university Secondly, it feels like your friends have moved on so far without you. Not all people have well-opportunity to travel or to study abroad if they don’t have enough conditions. Indeed, being failed in a part may lead to endlessly disappointment, no experience, no job, no purpose, hesitate whether you should get back to the university or not. It will be the worst year off you will ever get As a consideration, having experience by real-time activities in university isn’t a bad decision for all people. We can earn more experiences not just going outside. I definitely will concentrate more on the university instead of wasting time outside.
Taking a one-year gap may give us a better chance to prepare for other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
purpose for their choice. I completely disagree with this statement

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, wasting time trying to learn as much as possible isn’t a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the score is one of the biggest reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to spend a one-year gap,
for example
, you are studying both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and SAT center at the same course. You feel upset
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the score isn’t as high as you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. You decide to take a gap to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the SAT score. From month to month, nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much,
as a result
, you may feel regret for what you have done. Maybe you are better or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
feeling the same as in university

Secondly
, it feels like your friends have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far without you. Not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have well-opportunity to travel or to study abroad if they don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
conditions.
Indeed
,
being failed
in a part may lead to
endlessly
disappointment, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, no job, no purpose, hesitate whether you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or not. It will be the worst year off you will ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get


As a consideration, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
by real-time activities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
isn’t a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decision for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We can earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
going outside. I definitely will concentrate more on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
instead
of wasting time outside.
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IELTS essay Some people think that when students finish courses at high schools, they should have a one-year gap to travel or experience real life before entering universities. with the statement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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