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Rich country should not depend on worker from poor countries because our nation need more employee in their nation do you agree or disagree

Rich country should not depend on worker from poor countries because our nation need more employee in their nation X7WgY
It is argued that, rich nation out to not depend on worker from poor Nations because poor Nations require more employee in their nation. However, I am disagree with this statement for the reasons mentioned in forthcoming paragraphs in this essay. To commence with, there are some reasons why rich Nations is still hiring employee from poor Nations. The first and foremost reason is that it is beneficial for worker and their family. To elaborate it, in poor nation many skilled labour have no many opportunity for work and main they not earn require income. Moreover, in which country employee can earn and also may improve their living standard. For example, a survey conducted by Oxford University, about 65% labour hired by various nations in Canada in past few decades. Therefore, it is good for employee's life. Moving further, the second prime reason is that if rich countries hiring skilled labour it is good for Nation's economy. in other words, this is industrialisation era and various kind of industries open every nation if skill employee work there on that time industry may grow and it profit to government by tax. On the other hand, if the nation's hiring employees from poor nation it may affect on those people who live in the same country because it is a difficult to find a good job for them. No doubt opportunity are available but it is also effect on the population in particular area. To conclude, although there are some drawback of hiring employee from poor nation but I think it may be beneficial for labour's family.
It
is argued
that, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
out to not depend on worker from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
require more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
However
, I am disagree with this statement for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
mentioned in forthcoming paragraphs in this essay.

To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
is
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
. The
first
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it is beneficial for worker and their family. To elaborate it, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
have
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
Possible agreement error. The noun opportunity seems to be countable; consider using: "many opportunities".
many opportunity
for work and main they not earn require income.
Moreover
, in which country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can earn and
also
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living standard.
For example
, a survey conducted by Oxford University, about 65%
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
hired by various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in Canada in past few decades.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for employee's life.

Moving
further
, the second prime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that if rich countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
skilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for Nation's economy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other words, this is
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
era and various kind of industries open every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
work there on that time industry may grow and it
Did you mean "profits"?
profit
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by tax.
On the other hand
, if the nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
it may
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a difficult to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job for them. No doubt opportunity are available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
effect on the population
in particular
area.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it may be beneficial for
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
's family.
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IELTS essay Rich country should not depend on worker from poor countries because our nation need more employee in their nation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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