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Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs. j2YM
The importance of cultural activities which was always debatable as many people believing that foreign culture should be adopted by individual while travelling abroad while, other reject this notion. I largely disagree with above said statement and will elaborate more in upcoming paragraphs before reaching to conclusion. There are number of arguments which in favour of my stance. The one of the most prominent reason is why people should not adopt foreign customs that is, their own culture and customs will be diminished from their life if they will adapt new culture. Another striking reason is that, they will unable to tech their further generation. Due to this, their children will not aware about their ancestors sacrifices. Furthermore, their own countries culture will be down because of, lack of interaction. On the other hand, some people argued that foreign culture and activities good for individuals there are numerous reasons for that, firstly, travelling to another nation is good way to learn new things. Secondly, many schools and institutes have tech foreign languages as compulsory subject. Therefore, it is good way to learn new languages. As a result, people can not face any kind of difficulties in their life while going another country. For instance, many students living in aborad in order to get higher education and they have to learn their culture. In conclusion, even though, adaption of new custom and culture is good opportunity for people while travelling abroad, their own cultural activates could not be ignored by people in their own country.
The importance of cultural activities which was always debatable as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
should
be adopted
by individual while travelling abroad while, other reject this notion. I
largely
disagree with above said statement and will elaborate more in upcoming paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to conclusion.

There are number of arguments which in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance. The one of the most prominent
Please check whether a plural form of 'reason' should be used.
reason
is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
customs
that is
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and customs will
be diminished
from their life if they will adapt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. Another striking reason is that, they
Did you mean "will be unable"?
will unable
to tech their
further
generation. Due to this, their children will not aware about their ancestors sacrifices.
Furthermore
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
will be down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of, lack of interaction.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for individuals there are numerous reasons for that,
firstly
, travelling to another nation is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools and institutes have tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
languages as compulsory subject.
Therefore
, it is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a good".
good
way to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
languages.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not face any kind of difficulties in their life while going another country.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students living in
Possible spelling mistake found.
aborad
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn their culture.

In conclusion
,
even though
, adaption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
custom and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while travelling abroad, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultural activates could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
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IELTS essay Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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