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Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion.

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion. DXdA
Many people believe that death penalty should be a part of the judicial system. But others have opinion that it must be banned. As for me, I think in the same way. I am sure that it is unnecessary to kill prisoners for their crimes and this type of judgment should be prohibited. On the one hand, after incarceration government must support murders’ lives with the money from fax of nation as well as provide enough security resources to protect killers in jail. It seems injustice to protect, feed, buy different goods for murders and rubbers with the help of money of local society that may have been suffering by these prisoners. Moreover, it is rightfully to be killed if person committed violent crimes. Hence, justice will be served. On the other hand, death penalty is unacceptable neither in different religions nor in a wide range of minds. Furthermore, a lot of judicial systems don’t work well and it may lead to unjust executions. Some of parts of this system won’t work for excellent result, they want only to end it quickly. For example, there was famous killer of children called Chikatilo in Russia, and before police caught him, three innocent people were convicted with the death penalty. In addition, staying in one room whole life without any opportunities to enter society or trying to make ends meet is more depressive than quick end of violent life. To sum up, there are more cons than pros of death penalty and it is more harmful for killer to stay alive than to be death. As I have said, I am against the idea of adding this type of punishment into judgment systems due to humaneness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
should be a part of the judicial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
others have opinion that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
. As for me, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the same way
. I am sure that it is unnecessary to kill prisoners for their crimes and this type of judgment should
be prohibited
.

On the one hand, after incarceration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
support murders’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with the money from fax of nation
as well
as provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
security resources to protect killers in jail. It seems injustice to protect, feed,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for murders and rubbers with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of money of local society that may have been suffering by these prisoners.
Moreover
, it is
rightfully
to
be killed
if person committed violent crimes.
Hence
, justice will
be served
.

On the other hand
, death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is unacceptable neither in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religions nor in a wide range of minds.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
judicial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
don’t work well and it may lead to unjust executions.
After 'Some of', you should use 'the' ("Some of the parts") or simply say "Some parts".
Some of parts
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
won’t work for excellent result, they want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it
quickly
.
For example
, there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
killer of children called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chikatilo
in Russia, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
police caught him, three innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were convicted
with the death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
.
In addition
, staying in one room whole life without any opportunities to enter society or trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
is more depressive than quick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of violent life.

To sum up, there are more cons than pros of death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
and it is more harmful for killer to stay alive than to be death. As I have said, I am against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of adding this type of punishment into judgment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
due to humaneness.
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IELTS essay Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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