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Some people think that we cannot learn the qualities of truly successful people at any schools or institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Some people think that we cannot learn the qualities of truly successful people at any schools or institutions. with this idea? AwAk3
Success means different things to different people and most people long for success in their career as well as their personal lives. However, some people believe that schooling cannot equip people with skills and qualities of successful individuals. I just agree with this idea to some extent and this essay will clarify my opinion. To begin with, there are surely some elements that play the dominant part in people’s success but such qualities are simply handed down to them. For instance, some people have special talents, a gift from God, and on that basis, they excel and stand out in certain fields. However, we cannot possess such attributes needed for success no matter how much we learn and how hard we try. In addition, the special living conditions of some people help them form some qualities such as persistence, grit, sensitivity, determination and aspiration which are the corevalues of their lives. Nonetheless, it is impossible for schools or universities to recreate the same conditions to train students. Steve Jobs is a well-known icon of success with his unique story about his life, his education and origin but no parents on earth dare to put their beloved kids in the same situation to make them succeed. Finally, luck has a lot to do with people’s achievement in life but no schools were ever designed with the ultimate goal to make their students lucky. Some people even claimed that Bill Gates could not have been a billionaire if he had been born and raised in Vietnam. However, it is totally unjustifiedto deny the great contributions to people’s accomplishment. The bottom line is thatschools provide people with an ideal environment in which they can learn a wide range of skills and knowledge for their later lives. It is generally acknowledged that formal schooling has a profound impact on people’s frame of minds, moves and decisions, leading to stunning outcomes that even people themselves cannot imagine. There are so many stories of the effects of a good education on people and education can take them far into the unknown horizons. For example, a story in Japan shows that it is not about the family traits but the living conditions and education that the child got really determine his future. In this story, the two infants raised in two different families as a result of a mistake in the hospital when nurses sent kids to their biological parents have totally different lives after fifty years. Furthermore, qualifications earned from repeatable schools are now perceived as a basic requirement and a must in many jobs. For instance, to run for membership of parliament, a high education level is compulsory. Evidence also reveals that those who gain success on the basis of their good education far outnumbers people who mainly learn from their work and lives. In conclusion, success is the result of a long process and it is determined by many factors. Amongst those, schooling is undoubtedly a crucial element. However, people’s success is also affected by their grit, observation, passion and the relentless effortsover the full span of their lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Success
means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
long for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their career
as well
as their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that schooling cannot equip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and qualities of successful individuals. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and this essay will clarify my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
surely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
elements that play the dominant part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
such qualities are
simply
handed down to them.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have special talents, a gift from God, and on that basis, they excel and stand out in certain fields.
However
, we cannot possess such attributes needed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
no matter how much we learn and how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
we try.
In addition
, the special living conditions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them form
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
qualities such as persistence, grit, sensitivity, determination and aspiration which are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
corevalues
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Nonetheless, it is impossible for schools or universities to recreate the same conditions to train students. Steve Jobs is a well-known icon of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
with his unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
about his life, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and origin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no parents on earth dare to put their beloved kids in the same situation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them succeed.
Finally
, luck has a lot to do with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
achievement in life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no schools were ever designed with the ultimate goal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their students lucky.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even claimed that Bill Gates could not have been a billionaire if he had
been born
and raised in Vietnam.

However
, it is
totally
Possible spelling mistake found.
unjustifiedto
deny the great contributions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
accomplishment. The bottom line is
Possible spelling mistake found.
thatschools
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with an ideal environment in which they can learn a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge for their later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. It is
generally
acknowledged that formal schooling has a profound impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
frame of minds,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
and decisions, leading to stunning outcomes that even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves cannot imagine. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
of the effects of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can take them far into the unknown horizons.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
in Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that it is not about the family traits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the living conditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
that the child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
really
determine his future. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
, the two infants raised in two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
families
as a result
of a mistake in the hospital when nurses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
kids to their biological parents have
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
after fifty years.
Furthermore
, qualifications earned from repeatable schools are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
perceived as a basic requirement and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs.
For instance
, to run for membership of parliament, a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
level is compulsory. Evidence
also
reveals that those who gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
on the basis of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
far outnumbers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
mainly
learn from their work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is the result of a long process and it
is determined
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors. Amongst those, schooling is
undoubtedly
a crucial element.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by their grit, observation, passion and the relentless
Possible spelling mistake found.
effortsover
the full span of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that we cannot learn the qualities of truly successful people at any schools or institutions. with this idea?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
515 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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