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Some people think that very poor people in society need to help themselves. Others, however, believe that the government should provide financial and other assistance to these people. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some people think that very poor people in society need to help themselves. Others, however, believe that the government should provide financial and other assistance to these people. GWopm
Every country has poor people, even rich countries like the USA, Australia and European countries. Some tend to think the poor could help themselves get out of poverty, while many think that governments should aid poor people in many ways. Those who think that the poor need to help themselves often blame them for their poverty. They think that drugs or alcohol are involved or that they need to try harder. Perhaps they look at stories of self-made businessmen and decide that if poor people just showed more initiative they could start a business or get a better job. Of course, all of this ignores the reasons for poverty in a rich country, including family breakdown, high cost of living, unemployment and sometimes inferior resources in health and education. Other people see the important role of the government in helping people in poverty. First of all, financial assistance such as unemployment benefits, single parent benefits and emergency loans are essential to save lives. Secondly, structural assistance like cheap housing programs, free education, health insurance and other social programs assist poor people to live decent lives and perhaps save money to eventually escape poverty. In my opinion, a civilized society will always help those in need and give disadvantaged people a chance to improve their lives. It is a human rights issue where food, housing, education and health are concerned and also a moral imperative to make sure no one is left behind. At the same time, by helping the poor, we help ourselves, because society needs as many contributors as possible. Who knows, the next Bill Gates or Einstein might just be in need of some government assistance!
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, even rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the USA, Australia and European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

Those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
blame them for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that drugs or alcohol
are involved
or that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to try harder. Perhaps they look at stories of self-made businessmen and decide that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
more initiative they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better job.
Of course
, all of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
the reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
in a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, including family breakdown, high cost of living, unemployment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
inferior resources in health and education.

Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, financial assistance such as unemployment benefits, single parent benefits and emergency loans are essential to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Secondly
, structural assistance like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
housing programs, free education, health insurance and other social programs assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and perhaps save money to
eventually
escape poverty.

In my opinion, a civilized society will always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
and give disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. It is a human rights issue where food, housing, education and health
are concerned
and
also
a moral imperative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure no one is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind. At the same time, by helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
ourselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
contributors as possible. Who knows, the
next
Bill Gates or Einstein might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
assistance!
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IELTS essay Some people think that very poor people in society need to help themselves. Others, however, believe that the government should provide financial and other assistance to these people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people think that very poor people in society need to help themselves. Others, however, believe that the government should provide financial and other assistance to these people. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.