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Some people think that vaccines are safe and people should get vaccinated. Others disagree with that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that vaccines are safe and people should get vaccinated. Others disagree with that. xD9xQ
In the beginning of the last year, a horrible pandemic stroke, which spread with an extremely rapid pace. Although many solutions have been proposed to ensure the safety of people, A large group of scientists think that vaccines are the only way to get out of this “nightmare” and return to normal life. Since then, getting vaccinated or not has become a debatable topic. So, should people get vaccinated or not? In this essay both ideas will be analyzed before a conclusive opinion is given. On the one hand, A large number of people think that it is safe to get vaccinated, and there is no reason for people not to do so. For example, scientist all around the world worked on creating a safe vaccine, and they have conducted many experiments to make sure it is safe for people to use. If those vaccines were created by professionals, it is unlikely that they are harmful. The pandemic has already caused many peoples’ deaths, and, perhaps, it is the only way to fight and beat the virus. On the other hand, some people disagree with the idea that it is safe to get vaccinated. For example, there are doctors who say that some side effects can emerge in two years, and such a short period of time it’s not sufficient to study the adverse effects of vaccines. If there is a chance that there may be side effects in the near future, is it worth getting vaccinated? This is an extremely important point to take into account when considering getting the vaccine or not. To sum up, there are many factors to consider and many possible consequences to getting vaccinated. However, in my point of you, it is not worth getting vaccinated as by doing so, one risks their life.
In the beginning of the last year, a horrible pandemic stroke, which spread with an
extremely
rapid pace. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions have
been proposed
to ensure the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, A large group of scientists
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "thinks"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'think' is not always incorrect.)
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of this “nightmare” and return to normal life. Since then, getting vaccinated or not has become a debatable topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vaccinated or not? In this essay both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
will
be analyzed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a conclusive opinion is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On the one hand,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vaccinated, and there is no reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
For example
, scientist all around the world worked on creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
, and they have conducted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. If those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
were created
by professionals, it is unlikely that they are harmful. The pandemic has already caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
deaths, and, perhaps, it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to fight and beat the virus.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safe
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
vaccinated.
For example
, there are doctors who say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
side effects can emerge in two years, and such a short period of time it’s not sufficient to study the adverse effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
. If there is a chance that there may be side effects in the near future, is it worth getting vaccinated? This is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point to take into account when considering getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
or not.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors to consider and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possible
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
getting vaccinated.
However
, in my point of you, it is not worth getting vaccinated as by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
.

IELTS essay Some people think that vaccines are safe and people should get vaccinated. Others disagree with that.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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