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My academic achievement

My academic achievement mbRV1
Been in the flag bearer was the most achievement in my life on September 14th, 2017 in Camoapa city. First, to get flag bearer achievement, I needed to have motivation to get excellent grades such as a study goal in which I proposed to have good grades in my exams, presentations, and homework. For example, I always had positivism and persistence on mind because I attended classes everyday. Second, I needed to have some strategies in my studies to succeed as a student. For example, I focused more on my study goal, and I gave my best to accomplish my tasks everyday. Third, I needed to have discipline to progress in my classes, so I had to be organized, responsible, and have determination. As a result, I am proud of myself for the achievement of my flag bearer.
Been in the flag bearer was the most achievement in my life on September 14th, 2017 in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Camoapa
city.
First
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
flag bearer achievement, I needed to have motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
excellent grades such as a study goal in which I proposed to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades in my exams, presentations, and homework.
For example
, I always had positivism and persistence on mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I attended classes
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. Second, I needed to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strategies in my studies to succeed as a student.
For example
, I focused more on my study goal, and I gave my best to accomplish my tasks
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. Third, I needed to have discipline to progress in my classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had to
be organized
, responsible, and have determination.
As a result
, I am proud of myself for the achievement of my flag bearer.
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IELTS essay My academic achievement

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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