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Nowadays,a number of people from various traditions and ethnic groups live with each other in the same country.Although it has some negatives I regard it to be a positive accurence.

Nowadays, a number of people from various traditions and ethnic groups live with each other in the same country. Although it has some negatives I regard it to be a positive accurence. 2leg6
Obiously, living together can strengthen the bonding among the people from different cultures, as they can understand each other which may results in decreased in biasment due to their cultures. As a result, love and respect would be increased for their religious. Apart from this due to livlyhood of different ethnic groups in the same area, people can enhance their knowledge about different cultures and religious, as a result they can gain information about history also To epitomize, they would read holybooks related to different religious or traditions or they can have conversation with each other regarding their culture. However, there have some negative evolution when the different cultures are living in a same country they will lost their culture as they accepting other lifestyle or traditions. In this situation some much cultures valued persons does not accept this due to increased arguments. This much arguments created a unfavourable environment. In conclusion, when two different cultures person will understand the value of another cultures just then a peaceful multicultural country will developing.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Obiously
, living together can strengthen the bonding among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, as they can understand each other which may results
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in decreased in
Possible spelling mistake found.
biasment
due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and respect would
be increased
for their religious. Apart from this due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
livlyhood
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ethnic groups in the same area,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enhance their knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and religious,
as a result
they can gain information about history
also
To epitomize, they would read
Possible spelling mistake found.
holybooks
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
religious or
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
traditions or
they can have conversation with each other regarding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
However
, there have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
evolution when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are living in a same country they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lose"
lost
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
as
Did you mean "they're accepting", "they are accepting", or "they were accepting"?
they accepting
other lifestyle or traditions. In this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
valued persons does not accept this due to increased arguments. This
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
arguments created
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
environment.
In conclusion
, when two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cultures'" or "culture's"?
cultures
person will understand the value of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
then a peaceful multicultural country will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "develop"
developing
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, a number of people from various traditions and ethnic groups live with each other in the same country. Although it has some negatives I regard it to be a positive accurence.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
172 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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