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Some people think that urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing. Jo06j
A number of people believe that city areas should be used for public benefit instead of firms profit. They think that this areas must be used for parks as opposed to for houses. This essay agrees that an urban spaces are belong to society so they should be used for society's beneficial. Such as parks, outdoor activities eras etc. Not for housing. It is obvious that the technology and work opportunity had been changed to population balance in the cities. Because of the high population city government wants to build more house for people. However, the more build the houses meaning the more population. For this reason, urban spaces should be stay as a spaces. Even though people think that houses so important for people. Fresh air and outdoor places more important than houses. Therefore, I agree the statement that I wrote in introduction part. On the other hand, it is thought that building house more important than parks. They believe that place for living is the key point for people parks are kind of "luxury". I strongly disagree this statement. Because parks not only important for us but also important for us both also important nature and animals. There are tons of animals and trees living. This area vital also for our ecosystem. We can see the results for Istanbul. Climate changing effecting our cities and now all we need is more green area. Not houses. Put in a nutshell, although some people believe that building houses quite important for urban life, in my opinion green eras like parks more vital and beneficial for our urban life.
A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for public benefit
instead
of firms profit. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
as opposed to for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "space"?
spaces
are
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for society's beneficial. Such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, outdoor activities eras etc. Not for housing.

It is obvious that the technology and work opportunity had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to population balance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the high population city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
wants to build more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, the more build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
meaning the more population.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
spaces should be
Did you mean "staid", "stayed"?
stay
as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a space" or simply "spaces"?
a spaces
.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Fresh air and outdoor places more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the statement that I wrote in introduction part.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
. They believe that place for living is the key point for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are kind of
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
luxury
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I
strongly
disagree this statement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for us both
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
nature and animals. There are tons of animals and trees living. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
vital
also
for our ecosystem. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the results for Istanbul. Climate changing effecting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
all we need is more green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

Put in a nutshell, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
life, in my opinion green eras like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
more vital and beneficial for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
life.
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IELTS essay Some people think that urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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