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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measurement of the success ? What makes a person successful?

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measurement of the success? What makes a person successful? n6Nbo
It is frequently thought by some that success is related to wealth and material belongings. In my view, the wealth is not a productive way to measure success as there are other factors like good family and health that makes a person successful. It is true that everyone in the world tries to collect money in order to achieve happiness and hence, they think that wealth is a measurement of happiness. Although wealthy people have enough opportunities to buy all material belongings which they want, they want to self-murdered tgemselves and they do not feel happiness. For example, life is quiet depressive rather than underdeveloped countries. Therefore, wealth should not be considered as a major part of happiness. On tge other hand, there are other factors that help people to be successful. Firstly, it is undoubtly that family support plays a more vital role in our lives. Family support not only play main role, but also we can share our worries with family members and family support aids us to reduce stress. Another point that makes us successful, if people are healthy, they can struggle to achieve success. In conclusion, succes is not connected with money, if people have good family and health, they may be successful
It is
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that success
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
and material belongings. In my view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is not a productive way to measure success as there are other factors like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and health that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. It is true that everyone in the world tries to collect money in order to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and
hence
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is a measurement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. Although wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all material belongings which they want, they want to self-murdered
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tgemselves and
they do not feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
For example
, life is
Did you mean "quite"? 'quiet' means 'silent', 'quite' mean 'very' or 'to a moderate extent'
quiet
depressive
rather
than underdeveloped countries.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
should not
be considered
as a major part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. On
Possible spelling mistake found.
tge
other hand, there are other factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
Firstly
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
undoubtly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
support plays a more vital role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
support not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
play main role,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
we can share our worries with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
support aids us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Another point that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are healthy, they can struggle to achieve success.
In conclusion
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
succes
is not connected with money, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and health, they may be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
successful
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IELTS essay Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measurement of the success? What makes a person successful?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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