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Some people think that trips or vacations should have new or adventurous activities. Give your opinion?

Some people think that trips or vacations should have new or adventurous activities. Give your opinion? KnVrw
In today’s time a few people belive that leisure time has to be spent doing adventurous activities such as rock climbing, scuba diving, paraglyding, and many more. In my opinion I disagree with this view. Nowadays, due to lot of hectic schedule of individuals, many people go for a short vacation to relax and get some rest from their day to day routine. As most working people go for relaxation they may spend their time resting in a resort and enjoying leisure time with their families by talking with them, playing indoor games and so on. Moreover, they can also visit nearby places and explore new destinations. For instance, most of the people visiting Udaipur prefer to have a short stay in a resort and relex. Mostly, they visit nearby tourist locations in that area. Udaipur doesn't have any adventurous activities but it is still one of the favourite locations for a lot of people to visit and spend time. However, there are a few people who prefer to do adventurous activities in their free time. Majorly this kind of activities is being done by younger people as their health and fitness support them to do this activities. For example, younger people like to go for tracking, scuba diving, water sports activities. Whereas, their parents or older people prefer to stay away from this due to their health issues or they want to just relax and have fun watching their children explore these activities. To conclude, I believe it is not important to do only adventurous activities when on vacation. There are a lot of other activities that people prefer to do while spending their free time instead of these activities.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be spent
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as rock climbing, scuba diving,
Possible spelling mistake found.
paraglyding
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. In my opinion I disagree with this view.

Nowadays, due to
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
hectic schedule of individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go for a short vacation to relax and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest from their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
routine. As most working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go for relaxation they may spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
resting in a resort and enjoying leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their families by talking with them, playing indoor games and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Moreover
, they can
also
visit nearby places and explore new destinations.
For instance
, most of the
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people
visiting Udaipur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to have a short stay in a resort and
Possible spelling mistake found.
relex
.
Mostly
, they visit nearby tourist locations in that area. Udaipur doesn't have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
still
one of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
locations for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit and spend time.

However
, there are a few
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people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Majorly
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is
being done
by younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as their health and fitness support them to do
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to go for tracking, scuba diving, water sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Whereas, their parents or older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to stay away from this due to their health
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
issues or
they want to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
relax and have fun watching their children explore these activities.

To conclude
, I believe it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
when on vacation. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
to do while spending their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
instead
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that trips or vacations should have new or adventurous activities. Give your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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