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Some people believe that rich countries should help poorer countries for the growth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that rich countries should help poorer countries for the growth. jo8Md
Every country’s development depends on factors like health, trade and education. The underdeveloped countries usually deprived of all these factors and then they seek help from the developed or rich countries for the improvement of their economy. Rich countries help the poor countries in the factors like health and trade mainly because of their benefits. I agree that rich countries should help poor countries because this will help in the overall development of the world. The development of one country depends not only factors like trade, education and health but also depends on relations with the other countries. For instance, if rich country helps an undeveloped country in terms of health, education and trade then they can build a good relationship with the country and in the future if they need any help the poor country will surely give their best to help them. Helping poor countries will not only beneficial for poor countries but also for rich countries because this give rise to their economy as well. There will be harmony in the world if rich countries started helping the poor countries instead of capturing their land and put under their territory. This will help in a peaceful environment all over the world without any fight between the countries. In conclusion, rich countries should help poor countries for the betterment of both sides. This will maintain a peaceful environment in the world and less dirty politics will be played between the different countries.
Every
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country’s
development depends on
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factors
like
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health
,
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trade
and education. The underdeveloped
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countries
usually
deprived of all these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
factors and
then they seek
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help
from the developed or
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rich
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countries
for the improvement of their economy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
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help
the
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poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the
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factors
like
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health
and
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trade
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their benefits.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
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rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
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help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will
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help
in the
overall
development of the
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world
. The development of one
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country
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depends on".
depends
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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factors
like
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trade
, education and
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health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
depends on relations with the other
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countries
.
For instance
, if
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rich
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country
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helps
an undeveloped
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country
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, education and
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trade
then they can build a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship with the
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country
and in the future if they need any
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help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
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country
will
surely
give their best to
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help
them. Helping
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poor
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countries
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for
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poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
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rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this give rise to their economy
as well
.

There will be harmony in the
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world
if
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rich
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countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
instead
of capturing their land and put under their territory. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in a peaceful environment all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
without any fight between the countries.

In conclusion
,
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rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for the betterment of both sides. This will maintain a peaceful environment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and less dirty politics will
be played
between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that rich countries should help poorer countries for the growth.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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