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Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations. Others however think TV and internet are best way to learn about other countries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations. Others however think TV and internet are best way to learn about other countries. kj2qK
Nowadays, to see the world and being aware of it is becoming one of the crucial things. A few consider going on tour to another country is vital to acquire particulars of the state while leftovers feel tube and the web are best manner to grasp regarding nation. Learning about a country, especially, by travelling and seeing the place with your eyes has numerous advantages. First of all, you feel the atmosphere of the country, you can talk with native people face to face which is the thing that improves your communication skills and boost your confidence. Moreover, travelling enhance your creativity and it is the thing that takes you out of your comfort zone. Especially if you are travelling to a place you have never visited before, everything seems fresh and new. Secondly, during a visit to another country, people can experience new places with all their senses. For instance, going to the sea. I have seen the sea many times on TV, mostly in Turkish films. But I have never been on the beach in real. I honestly believe that if I could be on a beach in real, I would have totally different feeling. Nonetheless, travelling may cost a lot to some people. Simply, because of their financial situations, they may not afford it. Furthermore, some do not have time to see the world due to their work or business. However, people can enjoy watching films or shows about travelling. It will be cost- efficient compared to visiting in person. In addition to this, within a 30-minute show or something like that, men can learn and know much more than 3-days-long visiting. To sum up, travelling can fulfill our basic need for adventure to live life to the full. Therefore, I believe that the traditional way of travelling can never be replaced by the Internet or TV.
Nowadays, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world and being aware of it is becoming one of the crucial things. A few consider going on tour to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is vital to acquire particulars of the state while leftovers feel tube and the web
A determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".
are best
manner to grasp regarding nation. Learning about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
especially
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
and seeing the place with your eyes has numerous advantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, you feel the atmosphere of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, you can talk with native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face to face which is the thing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
your communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and boost your confidence.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
enhance your creativity and it is the thing that takes you out of your comfort zone.
Especially
if you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to a place you have never visited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, everything seems fresh and new.
Secondly
, during a visit to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can experience new places with all their senses.
For instance
, going to the sea. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the sea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times on TV,
mostly
in Turkish films.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I have never been on the beach in real. I
honestly
believe that if I could be on a beach in real, I would have
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
feeling. Nonetheless,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
may cost a lot to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Simply
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their financial situations, they may not afford it.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
do not have time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world due to their work or business.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy watching films or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. It will
be cost
- efficient compared to visiting in person.
In addition
to this, within a 30-minute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
or something like that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can learn and know much more than 3-days-long visiting. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
can fulfill our basic need for adventure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life to the full.
Therefore
, I believe that the traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
can never
be replaced
by the Internet or TV.
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IELTS essay Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations. Others however think TV and internet are best way to learn about other countries.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations. Others however think TV and internet are best way to learn about other countries. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.