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in my country, people tend to move overseas or to a different part of their country for their retirement . what are the reasons behind this phenomenon.

in my country, people tend to move overseas or to a different part of their country for their retirement. what are the reasons behind this phenomenon. 2adBo
in my nation, most of the working person who work in office and company. i believe that this statement. people have busy their work in whole life. they want to move another place for getting relax form hectic work. there are massive reasons behind this trend. to begin, firstly, people have bored from their work so they want to live with their family in another place and rejuvenation. secondly, people like to do some thing adventure in way life. and they get more information about country culture and customs. in addition, large proportion of the people want to visit new exotic place for rejuvenation in way life. they want to enjoy some outdoor places and play game in outside. even more, they visit new place getting close to nature. to conclude, every person should go to new place after retirement for requirement fresh.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my nation, most of the working person who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in office and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that this statement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
have busy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in whole life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for getting relax form hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are massive reasons behind this trend.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have bored from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their family in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and rejuvenation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to do
Did you mean "something"?
some thing
adventure in way life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information about country culture and customs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, large proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to visit new exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for rejuvenation in way life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and play game in outside.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
more, they visit new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
getting close to nature.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
conclude, every person should go to new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
after retirement for requirement fresh.
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IELTS essay in my country, people tend to move overseas or to a different part of their country for their retirement. what are the reasons behind this phenomenon.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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